This Woman's Story About A Teaspoon And Post-Birth Constipation Will Haunt You Forever

A podcast host in the US has revealed how she was so constipated after giving birth that she got a teaspoon and tried to “dig it out” – yeah, reading that sentence certainly wasn’t on our bingo card for this week either.

In their latest episode, I’ve Had It podcast hosts Jennifer Welch and Angie Sullivan were joined by Jackie Schimmel, host of the Bad Bitch Bible, who just so happens to be pregnant.

Naturally the conversation turned to pregnancy – as well as what happens after the birth.

One thing Welch was incredibly keen to convey to Schimmel is that after giving birth you can become very constipated. Especially if you’ve had pain relief.

Welch said: “You’re going to be more constipated than you’ve ever been in your entire life. And you’re talking nine, 10, 11 days not taking a shit. Nobody fucking talks about this. This is not in the pregnancy advertisement.”

She continued: “That first post-pregnancy shit, for me personally, was more difficult than giving birth.”

When co-host Angie Sullivan, also known as Pumps, agreed, Welch encouraged her to tell her own constipation story. And ladies and gentlemen, this is where things take A Real Turn.

“I was so miserable and I couldn’t poo and I thought I was going to lose my mind. And so I got a spoon and was trying to dig it out with a spoon,” said Sullivan.

She helpfully clarified this was a stainless steel teaspoon – so thankfully not a table spoon. And she didn’t use any lube for her... encounter.

Despite her best efforts, it didn’t work. Sullivan confirmed nothing came out.

After posting a clip of their insightful chat on TikTok, people were keen to share their experiences of that first post-birth poo.

One person wrote: “Can confirm, first dump postpartum you WILL be fighting for your life on that toilet.”

Another said: “Literally same! I was on the phone with a nurse thinking I was going to have to go to ER. What ended up coming out was the biggest turd I have ever seen.”

Constipation is pretty common after birth – with about one in four women suffering. According to Baby Centre there are a whole host of reasons you might be constipated, from not feeling comfortable using the toilet in hospital, to being scared to poo after tearing, as well as the impact of opioid pain relief.

On top of this, your digestive system slows down during labour and any damage sustained to your pelvic floor during birth can make it harder for you to empty your bowels.

According to the NHS, it’s normal to not poo for a few days after giving birth.

To avoid constipation, they advise new parents to eat plenty of fresh fruit, vegetables, salad, wholegrain cereals and wholemeal bread, and drink plenty of water.

When it is time to poo, and if you’ve had stitches for tearing, they advise holding a pad of clean tissue over the stitches while going about your business. The official advice is also to try and not strain.

If you’re constipated and still can’t go after a few more days, don’t reach for the teaspoon and instead speak to your midwife or GP.

A gentle laxative might also help get things moving in the right direction.

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