It's a holiday week, but nothing slows down our dauntless Housewives — not Thanksgiving, not a fast-approaching pandemic, and certainly not the lingering stench of hospital. So we were treated to three episodes this week as usual, beginning with the explosion we've been waiting for with The Real Housewives of Potomac in Portugal, followed by some post-renewal blues on The Real Housewives of Orange County. Finally, our newest clique of Bravolebrities stirs up trouble in the leadup to a '20s-themed party with cowboy strippers on The Real Housewives of Salt Lake City. Here's our breakdown of the most memorable moments from this week in 'wives!
HIGH POINT: The trials of motherhood, RHOSLC
What a joy it's been to get to know this sextet of Utah queens. We dig a little deeper into their snow-capped lives this week with a few scenes of motherhood, which are as illuminating as they are enjoyable: Lisa gives her son a driving lesson and then, as a reward for a Range Rover well-parked, allows him to fetch her a Diet Coke. Meredith takes orders from her instantly iconic son Brooks, who does not approve of Jen's high kicks. Mary tries to separate her son and his girlfriend by shipping him off to boarding school in L.A. Finally, Heather throws a party for all her pregnant twentysomething employees (comprising 25 percent of her workforce) by giving them all their very own tiny Range Rovers — and makes some realizations about her own life along the way.
LOW POINT: Various afflictions, RHOC
Braunwyn, as we know, is an alcoholic — but the hard-won success in her ongoing sobriety journey has been a high point this season, frankly. We're talking about different afflictions this week: Braunwyn's children (and subsequently, possibly an affectionate Kelly) have head lice. Shannon is consumed by some toxic mix of grief, shame, and Casamigos, reflecting drunkenly on her own vow renewal and the disastrous divorce that followed soon after. Most painfully, though, Elizabeth reveals that she is afflicted with a complicated case of regret regarding her ongoing divorce. Meanwhile, viewers know (while the 'wives willfully dismiss the signs) that something even worse is on the way…
WILDEST MOMENT: Dominatrix party, RHOP
Everything was going great. It was just another day in the Housewives universe, with six women gathering in a hotel suite in a foreign country to wear bustiers and toss around a dildo like any normal dominatrix party on any normal night, until two truth-bombs were dropped that can never be rescinded: First, Karen opens up about her favorite pillow and her least-favorite favor. Second, Ashley finally tells a cat-masked Candiace about writing a statement about her character — butter knife, etc. — for Monique's case. Portugal will never be the same after these women are done with it.
👑 QUEEN OF THE WEEK 👑 Ashley, RHOP
HOLIEST COMMUNION: Mary's service, and Whitney's father's sincere appreciation of it, RHOSLC
DRUNKEST GIRL AT THE PARTY: Shannon, RHOC
MUSICAL MOMENT OF THE WEEK: Candiace's "I See You" remix feat. G from Backyard Band, Bravo's Real Housewives of Potomac, and unidentified Madeira vacationers, RHOP
FIERCEST FOOTWEAR: Jen's baby-shower-planning gladiator stilettos, RHOSLC (runner-up: Jen's baby-shower-attending gladiator stilettos, RHOSLC)