‘An utter disgrace’: Christine Holgate accuses Scott Morrison of ‘worst bullying I’ve ever witnessed’

Former Australia Post chief executive Christine Holgate is still deciding whether to take legal action against her former employer but said she would “love” an apology from the prime minister, Scott Morrison, for what she described as “one of the worst acts of bullying I’ve ever witnessed”.

Holgate resigned as CEO in November last year after a fortnight of controversy sparked by revelations in Senate estimates she had awarded four executives Cartier watches worth $20,000 in total in 2018. They were a thank-you gift for completing the Bank@Post project.

Speaking to the ABC’s 7.30 on Tuesday night – without the absolute privilege she was afforded as part of a Senate inquiry into the circumstances surrounding her departure from Australia Post – Holgate said the board did nothing to stop her from being discredited as the controversy exploded in parliament and the media.

Related: Christine Holgate unleashes on Australia Post board during stinging Senate inquiry hearing

But Holgate reserved some of her most scathing comments for Morrison, who she said had humiliated her when he dressed her down during a parliamentary question time, declaring if she did not wish to stand aside voluntarily “she can go”.

She said she did not watch the performance until weeks later, under medical advice. “I think it’s one of the worst acts of bullying I’ve ever witnessed,” she said on Tuesday night.

“Even now I have to take myself out of myself to watch it. It’s an utter disgrace. Nobody at any point said, ‘Hold on a moment, this was two years ago,’ not [during] a pandemic; this was for actually getting a life-saving investment that many could have argued the government should have been giving to us to save the post offices.”

Holgate said she had told the board she did not believe she should be standing aside, given how close it was to Christmas – which, given the pandemic travel restrictions, was expected to be busier than usual. She also said her personal belief was “it’s very difficult when a leader has stood down to have them return” later.

“I didn’t want to, and I think it’s evident by the prime minister’s remarks that he knew I didn’t want to,” she said.

Holgate said she received a letter from the Australian Post chairman, Lucio Di Bartolomeo, that “effectively” said she was being stood aside under instruction from the government.

“I got a letter from the chair and it effectively said they were instructed to stand me down and I’d agreed to it – but I hadn’t agreed to it,” she said. “So we [Holgate and her lawyer] went back and said I hadn’t agreed to stand down and asked when did we agree to.

Related: Christine Holgate was targeting the Australia Post chairman, Scott Morrison and the patriarchy

“We got no response so we wrote again. We got no response. So my lawyer put out a media statement. And then we got a response and it said: ‘Christine agreed with me.’ It’s not plausible, I never agreed to do it.”

In his statements and evidence before the Senate committee on Tuesday, Di Bartolomeo maintained Holgate agreed to stand aside while an investigation was carried out. He has said phone records will back up his claim, as they show he spoke to Holgate after the 22 October question time, when Holgate said they did not speak.

Holgate said that given some of her other roles, including co-chair of the Australian trade board, she thought someone from the government may have asked her about the issue before publicly lashing her.

“You would have rather hoped that before someone publicly hung and humiliated you, that they may pick up the phone and call you and ask you directly what happened and why,” she told the ABC. “But there’s no mention of that because they didn’t. Only the chair did.”

Holgate said it was “insulting” to read Di Bartolomeo’s statement that the board did not want her to resign and had provided her with support.

“Hello! You refused,” she said.

“There was a cartoon of me depicted as a prostitute and when I asked them to actually defend me and to address some of this, they refused.

Related: New Australia Post chief named day before Christine Holgate fronts Senate inquiry

“How could anybody possibly, how can any parent watching your program want their child to go through that, any husband want their wife to go through it, any son or daughter want their mother to go through it?

“That is disgraceful behaviour. And they did nothing to defend my reputation ... I was suicidal. They knew that. Yet they carried on allowing the discrediting of me to continue.”

Holgate, a former Blackmores executive, said she believed the bullying and harassment “inside the Canberra bubble” was worse than the outside world.

“It seems to be a special place with its own rules,” she said.

“They are not good rules and they need to be changed and there needs to be real authenticity in that desire to change them. I don’t know another chairman in this country who would have treated their CEO and leadership team how I’ve been treated.”

She said she was reserving her options and put the ball squarely in the prime minister’s court.

“Maybe if the prime minister is watching he could give me a call, and I would love an apology, but he could help me resolve my contract,” she said. “What I do going forward, I will contemplate now that we have closed the door of my submission with the inquiry.”

Holgate has committed to reappearing before the Senate committee examining her departure from Australia Post if required. Di Bartolomeo has also been told he may be asked to reappear.