The 20 Funniest Tweets From Women This Week (May 8-14)
The ladies of Twitter never fail to brighten our days with their brilliant and succinct wit. Each week, HuffPost Women rounds up hilarious musings of 280 characters or fewer.
Scroll through this week’s great tweets from women below. Then visit our “Funniest Tweets From Women” page for past roundups.
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wish I loved anything as much as Gwyneth Paltrow loves being unrelatable
— Ely Kreimendahl (@ElyKreimendahl) May 10, 2021
Did a tick write this tweet https://t.co/3BMskIYDKI
— dj fuck (@eggshellfriend) May 11, 2021
I came up with my passwords when I was nine and never looked back
— LN (@abernothing) May 9, 2021
I would never give my quarantine pets away but when they are destroying my house I like to lightly mention to them some people do do that
— Child free sober wine mom (@katewillett) May 12, 2021
A woman could have four broken limbs and massive internal injuries due to an epic battle with fire-breathing dragons, and the first question the doctor’s office will ask is, “What is the date of your last menstrual period?”
— Wendi Aarons (@WendiAarons) May 8, 2021
CDC said I don’t have to wear a bra ever again either
— Ayo Edebiri (@ayoedebiri) May 13, 2021
wait Noooooooo why are plane tickets so expensive . Youre going that way anyway just give me a ride
— steph mccann (@steph_mcca) May 12, 2021
Reformation is like, "Okay so you're going to a wedding and you want to look like slutty wallpaper..."
— Julia Claire (@ohJuliatweets) May 11, 2021
say what you want about me but at least I never had my mom saved as “birth giver” or “parental unit” on my phone
— abby govindan (@abbygov) May 9, 2021
love this for her want this for me pic.twitter.com/GRDoUh9P0I
— siân (@sharnacious) May 11, 2021
Y’all my boyfriend looked me dead in my eyes and said “bae I think this gone be our year” I lit up, started smiling and said “year for what?”... and then he gone say “for the cowboys” lmao boy leave me alone 🙄
— Bree Nicole (@_celeBREEty) May 11, 2021
??? pic.twitter.com/Hf7tJIi4ty
— The Notorious J.O.V. (@whotfisjovana) May 11, 2021
still crying at the fact that someone said I should call my women’s-only gym “the g spot” because men will never find it 💀
— nataleebfitness (@nataleebfitness) May 10, 2021
Duck ramp is infrastructure pic.twitter.com/xPoO1sO1Od
— emily lamb ✨ (@emilymlamb_) May 8, 2021
when i was 19 i was very nervous to tell my mom i had spent most of my savings on a baby hedgehog and built it up so much that she interrupted me to tell me she would love and support me no matter who i was or who i loved and that's when i realized she thought i was coming out
— caroline conrad (@CPConrad) May 10, 2021
Honestly I'm just surprised the road to Hell is paved at all
— Jill Twiss (@jilltwiss) May 11, 2021
I’ll stop putting “lol” at the end of my sentences when my life stops being a joke lol
— Iris 👾☻ (@Jest_Iris) May 11, 2021
It’s funny that westerners eat pizza, chips, burgers with their hands but when it’s food from other people’s cultures it’s eww why you eating with ur hands
— Ashleigh (@Goddess0shun) May 13, 2021
I'm crying at how every time something happens, Americans turn into the cast of the office pic.twitter.com/P0coDp6JfX
— | (@shOoObz) May 12, 2021
My dad just waved some chicken around and said “look, it’s poultry in motion”
— Laura Bassett (@LEBassett) May 8, 2021
Related...
The 20 Funniest Tweets From Women This Week (April 17-23)
The 20 Funniest Tweets From Women This Week (April 24-30)
The 20 Funniest Tweets From Women This Week (May 1-7)
Also on HuffPost
This article originally appeared on HuffPost and has been updated.