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Trend watch: the Kärcher pressure washer obsession is real — and we’re here for it

 (B&Q)
(B&Q)

Help! My social feed’s looking weirdly clean

Wondering why everyone and their aunt wants to discuss the merits of an app-controlled jet wash? Let me get you up to speed. Pressure washers are the new window vacs, and we’re here for it.

I didn’t realise window vacs were the old window vacs but okay... What’s brought this on then?

Stacey Solomon documented the transformation of a wendy house, pictured, and garden bench at her new Tudor home on Instagram recently — honestly, chapeau to great content — to the delight of her 4.3 million followers.

Calling herself a "jet-wash-aholic", the Loose Women presenter and tidying guru’s before, during and after reveals are unexpectedly satisfying.

Stacey Solomon | Instagram
Stacey Solomon | Instagram

That screams PR stunt.

Don’t be a cynic. Solomon’s model is years old and, if Kärcher’s social accounts are anything to go by, they’re not actually aware Mrs Hinch’s bestie is their biggest super fan. Markedly less exciting was football pundits’ Jimmy Bullard and Chris Kamara’s "pressure washer challenge", but lockdown’s been real.

You should get out more.

And don’t we know it? Outdoor gatherings may yet save summer." 2021 so you’ll forgive us for wanting to spruce them up a bit. Mossy planters, grubby paving, panels desecrated by pigeons — we’re coming for you. To be fair, if it got us into actual venues and past metaphorical bouncer Chris Whitty anytime soon, garden furniture wouldn’t be the only thing we’d offer to hose down.

Okay, okay, pass me the spray gun. Is there anything it can’t do?

Blasting the mud off your pandemic pooch is a welfare scandal best avoided. Although, don’t fret newbie owners — there are portable versions for mucky pups after a morning channelling their inner Fenton.

Let’s do this. Where do I get one?

B&Q, Robert Dyas and Amazon are the usual suspects. Expect to pay anywhere from £70 for a compact one and, as with most things, the sky is the limit. For those who’ve made lockdown life feel like an extreme sport in competitive purchasing, a monstrously big petrol-fuelled model will set you back more than £1,000. Stock to suit all budgets looks plentiful, for now obviously — the same can’t be said for those window vacs.