Stephen Colbert mocks Keith Urban's 'Female,' provides alternative lyrics

George Back
Producer, Yahoo Entertainment

On The Late Show With Stephen Colbert, the host took a moment during his opening monologue to acknowledge Keith Urban’s performance of the song “Female” at the 2017 CMA Awards.

The song had been inspired by the many sexual misconduct allegations currently plaguing Hollywood. And while it was meant to be a song about female empowerment, Colbert joked, “It’s the first song ever written by dumping out a bin full of inspirational throw pillows.”

The lyrics to “Female” are basically words that women are supposed to find empowering, like “Technicolor, river wild, baby girl, woman, child, female.”

Colbert thought he would write his own lyrics for the song, singing, “Lady-woman, vagina-owner, lipstick, bangs, organ donor, piano teacher, appletini, burka, one-piece or bikini. Weird blue liquid, pads with wings, Andy Cohen, NuvaRings, yonic, yoga, yogurt spoon, tender goddess of the moon, shampoo I’m not s’posed to use, spark plugs women use those too, she-person.”

While Colbert did make fun of Urban’s song, he admitted that he is a huge fan and that Urban’s heart and intentions were good.

The Late Show With Stephen Colbert airs weeknights at 11:35 on CBS.

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