Sick and 2.5 sacks? Dallas Cowboys’ Micah Parsons may not stop using this energy drink

It won’t be as famous as the Michael Jordan flu game.

Dallas Cowboys edge rusher Micah Parsons wasn’t sick and proved to be a protagonist for his own sour stomach.

It was Parsons who decided to shot gun a package of C4 Energy Drink in the powder form before Sunday’s 33-10 victory against the Carolina Panthers without mixing it with water.

Parsons got a off to a great start in the game with two sacks in the first quarter but then things started to bubble up.

“It was just the powder and something I’ve never done before,’’ Parsons said. “I took the scoop of four to the head. (A teammate) was like man, ‘just take it dry. Don’t worry about it.’ I mean, by fifth play, my heart felt like it was going to jump on my chest. I was like, ‘oh my god’. C4 started bottling up my chest. I felt like I was about the explode. And it was I just started throwing up. It was all coming out..I’m doing that (bleep) again, I’m gonna stick to my routine.”

Parsons vomited twice on the sideline in the first half.

Of course, he also had two sacks in the first half and then had another .5 sack in the second half to give him a season-high 2.5 for the game as part of a seven-sack effort by the Cowboys defense.

Parsons normal routine includes taking ginger lemon shots during the week to boost his immune system, which has worked.

He said hasn’t been sick and wasn’t sick.

Why did he take the C4?

“It was supposed to get you hype,” Parsons said. “And I felt I definitely felt the difference. I didn’t expect my heart to feel like that. I’ve never been so tired in my life.”

“I‘m not gonna sit here and say it because of the C4 but I know that was the first time I used C4 and it was the first time I hurled.”

After notching no sacks and no tackles last week’s 49-17 victory against the New York Giants, Parsons was happy to register some positive stats again.

The question is whether the C4 powder should return as well.

“Would I do it again? I don’t know if my life is worth three sacks,” Parsons said with a laugh. “It might be a quarter of a scoop or maybe a half.”

Speaking of a half, Parsons is still smarting over having to share a sack with Jayron Kearse in the second half, leaving him at 2.5 and preventing him getting a new career-high 3 in a game.

“We are going to have to go get that sack back,” Parsons said.

Parsons said he starting getting used to all the different schemes opponents are using to slow him down.

“I kind of like when people go against me a little bit,” Parsons said. “That kind of keeps me a little bit more motivated. Teams have done a little bit out of ordinary things, things that even I haven’t seen yet since I’ve been here. Sometimes it throws you off your game. The more I prepare for it, the more I see, I think I’m getting more of a adjustment, understanding what I’m seeing. And I think that’s been a difference in my progress.”

Parsons has progressed pretty nicely since coming to the Cowboys in 2021.

He now has 10.0 sacks in 2023 and is the first player in franchise history with 10.0 sacks in each of his first three seasons. He is also the ninth NFL player since 1982 with 10-or-more sacks in each of his first three seasons— the first since Shawne Merriman (2005-07).

He had 13 as a rookie and 13.5 in 2021.

It marked Parsons’ 12th career multi-sack game, tied with Merriman for the fourth-most multi-sack games through the first three seasons of an NFL career since 1982.

Parsons’ 36.5 career sacks are the seventh-most sacks in an NFL player’s first 43 career games since sacks became official in 1982.

His focus now is Thursday’s game against the Washington Commanders where he hopes to win “a Turkey Leg” as the player of the game.

“I think 10 sacks is like the minimum there should be for elite rusher,” Parsons said. “I think that’s like the minimum. I think the goals are anywhere between like 16 to 20. Those are really good season so I’m kind of over that 13 and a half. I gotta get over that bad.”

Bad enough to take the C4 powder before each game?