The photos that show how bad Meghan's mental health was when she was a royal

Catriona Harvey-Jenner
·3 min read
Photo credit: Harpo Productions/Joe Pugliese
Photo credit: Harpo Productions/Joe Pugliese

From Cosmopolitan

Meghan Markle has revealed that she reached such a low point during her time as a working royal, she suffered suicidal thoughts. During her interview with Oprah Winfrey, which was broadcast last night in the US and will come to UK TV screens this evening, the Duchess of Sussex opened up about how her mental health had fared throughout the turbulence of her time in the UK.

When conversation turned to mental health, Oprah Winfrey asked Meghan: "You were having suicidal thoughts?"

"Yes. It was very clear and very scary," Meghan responded. "I just didn’t see a solution."

Meghan, who spent a little over two years on the front line of royal duties, delved further into the difficult topic, sharing how Prince Harry helped her through her darkest times. "I remember how [Harry] just cradled me," she said, adding: "Look, I was really ashamed to have to say it at the time and ashamed to have to admit it to Harry especially, because I know how much loss he’s suffered.

Photo credit: Harpo Productions/Joe Pugliese
Photo credit: Harpo Productions/Joe Pugliese

"But I knew that if I didn’t say that I would do it... and I just didn’t ― I just didn’t want to be alive anymore," she said. "That was a very clear and real and frightening constant thought."

The Duchess continued: "I share this because there’s so many people who are afraid to voice that they need help. And I know personally how hard it is to not just voice it, but when you voice it to be told no."

Photo credit: WPA Pool - Getty Images
Photo credit: WPA Pool - Getty Images

Meghan Markle described one point in particular where she remembers feeling exceptionally low, during her pregnancy with Archie. The Sussexes had to attend a concert at the Royal Albert Hall, and even now Meghan points to photos from the occasion (pictured above and below), saying she sees her distress very clearly.

"We had to go to this event after I told Harry I didn't want to be alive any more. In the pictures, I see how tightly his knuckles are gripped around mine," the expectant mother told Oprah. "We are smiling, doing our job. In the Royal Box, when the lights went off, I was just weeping," she continued.

Photo credit: WPA Pool - Getty Images
Photo credit: WPA Pool - Getty Images

This isn't the first time we've gained insight into Meghan's fragile state of mind during her time as a working royal. Court documents from her privacy and copyright case against the Mail on Sunday last summer revealed that her pregnancy with son Archie was a particularly difficult time for her.

"The Claimant had become the subject of a large number of false and damaging articles by the UK tabloid media, specifically by the Defendant, which caused tremendous emotional distress and damage to her mental health," read the papers. "As her friends had never seen her in this state before, they were rightly concerned for her welfare, specifically as she was pregnant, unprotected by the Institution, and prohibited from defending herself."

During the Oprah Winfrey interview, Meghan Markle said that the decision Prince Harry made to step back from their royal lives saved her life. "I think [Harry] saved all of us. He ultimately called it. He made a decision that saved my life and saved all of us. But you need to want to be saved," she said.

If you're suffering from suicidal thoughts, reach out to Samaritans for help and support. Visit their website or call 116 123 any time.

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