I do not want to hear any more about Taylor and Travis.
An incredibly important TV update.
The best part of the Real Housewives.
Pour one out for Dumbledore.
An exciting(ish?) movie.
This Is So Important to Me
There is one perfect reality show.
For a full decade, from 2003-2013, we were blessed to have Stacy London and Clinton Kelly host What Not to Wear on TLC. This was when TLC was the girlie on the cable lineup. It had Trading Spaces. It had Jon and Kate Plus 8. And it had What Not to Wear.
If you have seen What Not to Wear, you have seen every single episode, because TLC would air it in hours-long marathon blocks—along with what must have been some sort of hypnosis spell, because if you watched one, you were physically compelled to watch all 20 that aired in a row.
The premise was simple. Everyday people—as in actual everyday people, not the reality-TV thirsty ones that appear on current shows—are nominated by friends or family to have their wardrobe updated. Like Queer Eye, the makeover typically is accompanied by an emotional confidence transformation. And hosting these magical episodes were Stacy and Clinton, a straight-shooting, quirky fashionista and her (unspokenly) gay and fabulous counterpart.
Stacy and Clinton bickered. They teased each other. And they got results. These makeovers were fantastic; when the client’s loved ones would see the transformation and laugh and cry, you would laugh and cry along with them. (My Aunt Colleen was in one of these episodes—as a supporter, not the fashionably tragic subject! I have never thought of someone I knew as more of a celebrity.)
Why any of this is news is that, after 2013, Stacy and Clinton disappeared. Why!? To where!? It turns out, they’ve been semi-quietly, semi-publicly feuding for the past decade. (Clinton wrote about it in his book, released in 2017) But, this week, the duo appeared together on Today to tell us all that they’ve made amends. They’re now going on tour together to talk about how they got through their drama. Our long national nightmare is over!
What I love about this seemingly slight news story is that, for one, it was an occasion to remember the simpler, endlessly entertaining time before reality TV was such a lightning-rod medium and you could just spend an entire weekend on a couch watching a woman get highlights and pick out smart blazers that complement her shape. But it’s also, in tandem to that, a testament to healing.
If you watch the Today interview, you’ll see how frank Stacy and Clinton are about the conflicting feelings they each had about each other and their success, and the burden-freeing reasons why they decided to work through that. Like their show a decade ago, their banter proves to be therapeutic. Now all I need is for them to help me find a great day-to-night smart pair of jeans.
Get Andy and a Camera
This week’s episode of The Real Housewives of Salt Lake City was everything you’d expect from a great installment of chaotic reality TV. The climax of the episode involved six women who were borderline blackout drunk screaming at each other at a gay bar in Palm Springs about disabled children and $60,000 rings while wearing 40-pound Dolly Parton wigs.
And yet the most captivating part of the episode was the one woman who decided not to go to the bar; the woman who, while all this was happening, the cameras continued to follow as the production’s driver drove her to McDonald’s and she ate it in the car. I don’t know what it is about Mary M. Cosby that makes even this—and even while all those hysterics were going on—captivating viewing, but I almost want this to be its own spinoff.
Let’s follow Mary M. Cosby as she goes through airport security. While she waits in line for a prescription at CVS. While she looks out her window waiting for her Uber Eats driver to arrive.
Emmy Award incoming.
The Next Great Adventure
While I am disgusted by all things Voldemort (as in, JK Rowling) in recent years, the truth is that I am a Potthead. I love the Harry Potter books, the movies, the amusement park—all of it. And so it was quite emotional to hear that Michael Gambon, who played Dumbledore in The Prisoner of Azkaban and all subsequent films in the franchise, died this week.
There is so much on Gambon’s film resume to applaud, but, to be basic for a minute, there was just something so special about the way he played Dumbledore. Something like “magic” should be intangible, yet, somehow, he harnessed it in his every glance. The camera would train in on his eyes and—I don’t know how—they would twinkle. Not CGI twinkle. It was wizardry. It was a thrill for us Harry Potter fans to witness that.
This cast is great, just like the casts of all these movies are great. (Book Club hive, where you at?) But, really, all we want is a First Wives Club 2.
What to watch this week:
Saw X: One of the best installments in the entire franchise. (Now in theaters.)
Gen V: The Boys is one of the most fun shows on TV, and this spinoff is on par. (Now on Prime Video)
Special Forces: World’s Toughest Test: This cast is as bonkers as the challenges they’re forced to compete in. (Now on FOX)
What to skip this week:
The Creator: This was supposed to mark the future of non-Marvel blockbusters. The catch is: It’s a dud. (Now in theaters)