Watch the Avengers Disassemble in the First 'Age of Ultron' Teaser

With less than a week to go before its prime-time premiere, the first trailer for Avengers: Age of Ultron Hulkbusted its way online tonight, and you can watch the official version above. Now that the age of Age of Ultron has officially begun, here are a few thoughts on the clip:

—Hoo boy, does this thing look dark!

In the tradition of such solemn second acts as The Dark Knight, The Empire Strikes Back, and Another Stakeout, the latest installment in the Avengers franchise is clearly bleaker than its (relatively) upbeat predecessor. “I’m gonna show you something beautiful: Everyone screaming for mercy,” intones the deep, deathly voice of the messianic Ultron (James Spader), as the trailer cuts to shots of ruined cities and horrified crowds. And unlike the previous Avengers film — or even recent Marvel works like Captain America: Winter Soldier — there’s nary a zippy one-liner to be found: Instead, we see a forlorn Thor (Chris Hemsworth), a cowering Bruce Banner (Mark Ruffalo), and a notably humbled Tony Stark (Robert Downey Jr.), who at one point sums up the film’s misery-laden vibe: “It’s the end. The end of a path I started us on.”

—The Hulkbuster vs. Hulk battle will have other superhero-film directors green with envy.

Since this summer’s Age of Ultron panel at Comic-Con, fans have been clamoring for scenes of Iron Man suiting up in his mega Hulkbuster costume — which looks a bit like the regular Iron Man costume, if Iron Man ate exclusively creatine and In-N-Out burgers for six months — and taking on the Hulk. The new clip gives an extended look at the feud, which takes place on city streets, and features lots of car carnage. But don’t worry: If your vehicle ever gets wrecked by an Avengers street brawl, we know if a certain kajillionaire who could pay for the damages.

—The latest Avengers have assembled!

Though they don’t have a huge amount of screen time, we do get glimpses of newcomers Scarlet Witch (Elizabeth Olsen) and Quicksilver (Aaron Taylor-Johnson). Keeping with the trailer’s unhappy-days theme, they’re mostly either screaming or looking forlorn.

—Hawkeye is kinda in it, too.

Yep, there he is, running through the snow, and, uh… well, there’s definitely another shot of him in there somewhere. But mostly, he pretty much just runs through the snow. Meanwhile, his pals are doing all kinds of other cool stuff: Black Widow (Scarlett Johansson) gets dropped from a jet while still on her bike, and Thor tries to choke Stark. But Hawkeye? He’s just keeping a low profile.

—Sigh. Poor Hawkeye. Well, what else does the trailer have?

A shirtless Thor!

—Oh, that’ll be the source of a zillion GIFs by midnight. Anything else stand out?

Well, there are a bunch of ballerinas. Who knows what they’re doing here? Maybe they’re robot-ballerinas. Or maybe writer-director Joss Whedon is simply a fan of The Red Shoes.

—Is there anything missing?

Well, there’s a lot of vision here, but no Vision! The robo-hero — who’ll be voiced by Paul Bettany —is nowhere to be seen. Unless that was him wearing one of those tutus.

—Finally, what’s that creepy, child-like tune that’s playing the background? You know — the one that Ultron quotes at one point?

That’d be "I’ve Got No Strings," from 1940’s Pinocchio — a not-so-subtle bit of Disney synergy. It may be of the more charming and care-free numbers in the studio’s history, but in Ultron’s hands, it sounds like a Tom Waits deep-cut. We’ll see if he breaks out into a full song-and-dance number when Avengers: Age of Ultron opens May 1, 2015.