Brides say their LGBTQ wedding was ruined when NC videographer walked out before vows

A Charlotte videographer who had contracted to capture images of a wedding this month in Hendersonville walked out as the ceremony started when he realized the couple getting married were both women.

Bride Clarissa Templeton said Seth Curl’s sudden departure — without speaking to anyone at the event — was devastating to her and her now wife, Teegan Bullock Templeton. It cast a pall over their once-in-a-lifetime moment and left them with no professional footage of their vows, though they had paid in full for the service.

When Tolman Media, the company for whom Curl was a contractor, had failed to refund the couple’s money 11 days later, Templeton posted about the incident on social media, generating a firestorm of angry comments about LGBTQ discrimination.

“There is no way to sugarcoat it,” Templeton said Monday. “It honestly ruined the entire day, and my wife and I were very depressed on our seven-hour drive to Florida for our honeymoon. We didn’t even eat at our own wedding.”

Templeton, 25, who is from Hendersonville, works for a company that makes outdoor lighting in Flat Rock. She lives about 40 minutes away in Inman, S.C. Teegan, 21, works for the same company.

Seeking LGBTQ-friendly businesses

Templeton proposed to Teegan in January 2020. They planned an outdoor wedding at Events at Green Mountain Farm in Hendersonville, drawn by its scenic pond and mountain views. Both brides took second jobs to pay for their special day.

As she was selecting vendors for the wedding, Templeton said, she was careful to search for LGBTQ-friendly businesses and as she talked to their representatives, made sure they knew she was planning a same-sex wedding.

Templeton did that, she said, “Because of where I live and how I’ve grown up and the people I’ve been around, the things I have experienced from people who don’t know me, because of who I love and who I’m with.”

Also this month, a gay couple from Wake County, McCae Henderson and Ike Edwards, were told by the owner of Highgrove Estate, an event venue in Fuquay-Varina, they could not hold their wedding there.

“I’ve heard stories from others who are same-sex, and I didn’t want to have to go through that,” Templeton said. “I was trying to do everything I could to prevent that.”

In her search for a videographer, Templeton found the website of Tolman Media. Company president Ben Hillyard said in an interview that the company, based in Utah, has licensees in every U.S. state and some foreign countries.

Clients enter their names and basic information about their event into a form on the website, and a licensee in their area gets in touch. If they agree on terms, the licensee hires a contractor to do the job, whether it’s a videographer, still photographer, DJ or all three.

Templeton said she was contacted by Tolman’s South Carolina licensee, Stephanie Cazares in May 2020. Templeton said she made sure Cazares understood that hers would be a same-sex wedding, and Cazares said that wouldn’t be a problem. Templeton agreed to pay $1,086.50 for four hours’ coverage of the wedding, which was set to begin at noon on April 3.

Templeton said she got an email in February from Seth Curl of Charlotte, saying Tolman Media had contracted him to video her wedding. She got another email from him in late March, she said, then nothing else before the wedding.

Both times, she said, she responded with her Google email account, which displays a profile photo of her getting a kiss on the cheek from her then-fiancee. But she said the fact that it was a same-sex wedding was never raised.

Templeton said she especially wanted video of the exchange of vows, which each bride wrote for the other, and of their first dance together at the reception.

Capturing the wedding on video also was important for Templeton because with the threat of COVID-19, some of her dearest relatives and friends were unable to attend. Viewing a video would be the next-best thing.

The missing videographer

On the day of the wedding, Templeton and Bullock each went to get their hair done and arrived separately at the venue. Templeton said that when she arrived at 10:45 a.m, she noticed a videographer standing near her photographer. She went into the venue to get ready.

As the ceremony began, Templeton said she noticed the videographer was missing.

“I didn’t see him, and I started to panic in my mind,” Templeton recalled. “I snapped myself out of it and told myself, ‘Maybe he had some technical difficulties. Maybe he went to the car to get something.’

“Then I shut it off in my head. I made myself be present, because I knew I wasn’t going to get his moment again.”

The brides had their officiant ask guests not to use their cell phones for video or photos during the ceremony, so they wouldn’t be distracted and their devices wouldn’t be seen in images of the event.

What Templeton didn’t know was that Curl, whose website describes him as a “freelance adventure photographer ... known for his upbeat travel videos as well as creating moody, cinematic masterpieces,” had left the wedding as soon as he saw that it involved two brides.

Templeton said the wedding planner called and asked Curl what was going on. He told her he would not shoot a same-sex wedding. Hillyard, the company president, said Curl later told the South Carolina licensee and her manager the same thing.

It’s unclear whether Curl knew Templeton was marrying a woman before he arrived at the venue.

Though Templeton and Bullock were unaware the videographer had left, Templeton’s mother knew, and pulled out her phone to get video of the wedding vows. After the ceremony, when Templeton heard what had happened, she said, “I burst into tears.”

The wedding planner called Tolman’s South Carolina office, which sent a second videographer. He arrived shortly before the end of the event, Templeton said, and they reenacted some moments for him to record.

“It was all fake,” Templeton said.

Curl, the original videographer, did not respond to requests for an interview sent by text, email and through his Facebook account. Cazares, Tolman’s South Carolina licensee, also did not respond to an interview request.

Hillyard, the company president, said Curl had failed to follow company procedures because he didn’t have a full discussion with Templeton in advance about what she wanted included in her video. Had that happened, Hillyard said, Curl would have realized the Templeton-Bullock wedding was a same-sex ceremony and he could have said then that he did not want the job. As it was, Hillyard said, Cazares, the licensee, did not know Curl had a problem with same-sex weddings.

“If our processes had been followed, this videographer would have known that and would have said, ‘I don’t feel comfortable shooting this type of wedding.’ We would have used our non-discrimination policy and removed him from our organization.”

Tolman Media has shot tens of thousands of weddings since it launched in 2013, and has never had a contractor back out of an event because of opposition to same-sex marriage, Hillyard said.

A U.S. District Court found that North Carolina’s denial of marriage rights to same-sex couples was unconstitutional in October 2014. The U.S. Supreme Court struck down all bans of same-sex marriage in June 2015.

‘Severe consequences’

Hillyard said Curl will no longer be allowed to contract with Tolman Media because he discriminated against a client.

On April 17, two weeks after the wedding, Curl sent Templeton an email, saying, “On April 3, I did something that I have never done, nor ever had to do before. Because of my faith and what I support, I made the decision to leave and not film Clarissa and Teegan’s wedding day.

“This was an action that I knew would have severe consequences,” Curl wrote. “I realize what I did has ruined a beautiful wedding and left so many heart broken (sic).”

Curl said he was not influenced by anyone at Tolman Media and that, “This was a decision that I made myself, and will take full responsibility for it. I want to sincerely apologize to everyone that I hurt, and especially to Clarissa and Teegan for what I did. I apologize for how I went about the situation and for not communicating with the wedding party before I did what I did.”

Curl said in the letter he has suffered backlash online as a result of leaving the wedding.

“There is so much hate in this world today, and I never wanted myself to be a part of it,” he wrote. “This destroys me that I’ve ended up in a position where I am getting so many people saying so many negative things about me, my life, my career, and my beliefs. I’ve never been in a situation like this before, and I try at all costs to avoid things like this. Unfortunately, I wasn’t able to do that and want this to be right. I am so sorry Clarissa and Teegan for everything. I pray that we can move forward and try to find some middle ground for all of this. I don’t expect this to fix everything immediately, but I hope it’s a step in the right direction.”

After her initial post describing the incident, when Tolman Media had not yet refunded her payment, Templeton updated the post asking friends and family “not to fight hate with hate.” She described feeling “caged and beaten down” by a judgmental world in which she and her wife often don’t feel safe holding hands in public.

Templeton’s aunt, Cheryl Grindle, who lives in New Mexico and was unable to attend the wedding, negotiated with Tolman Media to get the company to gather any photos and videos made by friends and family at the wedding, along with any footage the second videographer took, and create a video for the couple at no cost. Hillyard confirmed the company plans to do so.

“This is a one-shot deal,” Hillyard said. “Even if it was possible, which it’s not, to get everybody back, redecorate and redo the whole ceremony, it would not be the same. We could not capture what we missed.

“We’ve already screwed up. We’re going to do everything we can to make it as good as it can be. “

In the meantime, he said, Tolman Media will reinforce to its licensees that they are not to discriminate against clients for any reason.

“We are literally in the love business,” Hillyard said. “Our tag line is, ‘Timeless photography,’ because we’re looking to make sure the images we capture outlast the union ... and can be passed down for generations to come.

“We don’t care who you love, we don’t care how you love. We are there to perform a service, to document your love.”

Hillyard said he was surprised someone with Curl’s beliefs would work in the wedding industry.

In February, the U.S. Census Bureau released a report that in 2019, there were 980,000 same-sex households in the country, and about 58% of the couples were married.

Hillyard said he had not spoken with Curl, but wondered: “Why would you ever get into an industry that is defined by love, and bring hate? Not only that, why would you not love capturing people’s love?

“This is an industry where the barrier to entry is 500 bucks. You go to Costco or Sam’s Club, get your photo package and you’re off and running. You should love it. And if you don’t, you should get out really fast.”

Templeton said her point in sharing the story, besides initially trying to get her payment refunded, is to make people aware that discrimination causes harm.

“I’m hoping that with things like this happening to us and to the gentlemen in Raleigh, we can start a ripple effect, cause a change,” Templeton said. “It’s not overnight, but something has to be done, because no one deserves to feel what we felt and continue to feel: like nothing. Like our existence, our feelings, don’t matter.”