Mom says her seven-year-old daughter was denied lunch over ‘inappropriate’ shirt

Meredith Clark
·5 min read

A mother has claimed her seven-year-old daughter was denied lunch for violating her school dress code.

Harlie, a Tennessee-based mom, went viral on TikTok this month after her daughter said she was taken out of lunch for wearing a spaghetti strap shirt, which school adminstrators deemed “inappropriate” for school. Since then, Harlie revealed she has confronted the school administration about their dress code.

It all began when Harlie’s seven-year-old daughter described to her mother how her teachers said her straps were “inappropriate” and brought her to the nurse’s office, where she was unable to finish her lunch.

“They said your straps were inappropriate on your shirt, so they kicked you out at lunch?” Harlie is seen asking her child in the video, which has been viewed more than 900k times. “Did you get to finish your lunch?”

“Nope, I barely got to finish my bag of Cheetos,” her daughter responded.

Harlie then gave her first grader some words of wisdom and instructed her on what to do next time she breaks the school’s dress code policy.

“You get to choose what goes on your body,” she told her. “So next time that happens, I want you to tell your teacher to call me instead. You continue to wear whatever you think is cute, whatever you feel confident in, and if we break dress code then I will come pick you up, OK? If somebody tries to tell you what you’re doing is inappropriate, you don’t let them do that. You tell them to call me instead. That’s not their job to talk to you like that.”

@thisisharlie

Today, my first grader’s school prioritized dress coding her over feeding her. Literally WHY. #dresscoded #dresscodesucks #dresscodesaresexist #dresscodeprotest #bodypositivity

♬ original sound - Harlie

Harlie’s video received overwhelming support from fellow mothers and educators alike for fighting back against her daughter’s school dress code. In a follow-up video posted one day later, the Tennessee mom revealed she spoke to administration about the situation and claimed they were unhelpful in finding a solution that suited both of them.

“I went into the school today, not to debate them on the dress code, or what’s in place, or if she broke it,” she recalled. “I went in there and told them my problem isn’t the dress code. It’s how you guys chose to enforce it with her. I was expecting to work together as a team on finding a solution that was better for us and they got combative instead, and I’m really disappointed.”

Harlie went on to explain how the school told her that her daughter was lying about being pulled out of lunch, while another teacher confirmed that the child didn’t eat lunch. Administrators were then “trying to lie” about how long her daughter was in the nurse’s office, and said the reason she couldn’t finish her food was because she walked too slowly through the hallway. When Harlie told the school to call her if her daughter ever violated dress code again – because she’d rather pick her daughter up from school than teach her to cover up – she claimed the school’s response was: “Your answer to this is to pull her out of academics?”

@thisisharlie

Replying to @thecosmicpink Here’s an update on my daughter being refused lunch over her shoulders. #dresscode #dresscoded #dresscodesaresexist #dresscodesucks #dresscodeoutfits #dresscodeprotest #dresscodesarenotfairtothegirls #dresscodesaremisogynistic #dresscodesarentbecauseofstudents

♬ original sound - Harlie

“Yes, that is exactly what I intend to do,” Harlie responded, before telling the camera: “If a teacher is too distracted by a seven year old’s shoulders to continue teaching, I do not want her in that classroom. If your solution is to starve her and shame her in front of her friends, yeah I’m going to come pick her up because I’m not raising a good student, I’m not raising a good worker, I’m raising a good person.”

In a third video documenting the situation, Harlie revealed that she sought professional advice from a lawyer, who informed her that it’s illegal to deny a student school lunch. The mom also revealed her impassioned reasons for fighting back against school dress codes.

“I have a very personal strong bias against dress codes,” she explained. “I think that they are wrong, I think that they are sexist, I think that they discriminate against other religions, other nationalities and other races, and I hate them.”

@thisisharlie

Replying to @xxkllxx this is 100% correct. Thank you guys so much for all the advice. It made all the difference. #dresscoded #dresscodesucks #dresscodesaresexist #dresscodeprotest #dresscodesarenotfairtothegirls #dresscodesaremisogynistic #dresscodesarentbecauseofstudents #dresscodesareracist #nomoredresscode

♬ original sound - Harlie

Recently, Harlie revealed to Newsweek that her daughter “has not been back to the school” since the dress code incident after hearing from parents who expressed similar concerns. The seven-year-old is now enrolled in a “new homeschool hybrid” program.

Dress codes have existed for decades, despite receiving widespread criticism for controlling how people should dress in schools, the workplace, or even at airports. Studies show that 90 per cent of the schools in the United States that have dress codes often “prohibit clothing typically associated with girls, commonly banning clothing items such as ‘halter or strapless tops,’ ‘skirts or shorts shorter than mid-thigh,’ and ‘yoga pants or any type of skin tight attire.’”

Another protective mother went viral on TikTok this year when her teenage daughter was dress-coded by her school twice in the same day. Back in June, the parent – who goes by the name Stasia on TikTok – shared how her daughter fought back against the dress code by staging a protest at her school. But when the boys joined in by wearing crop tops to class, it was only the girls who were chastised for breaking the school dress code.

Instead, they were given extra large shirts to cover up their tank tops, only to be dress-coded a second time when a school administrator couldn’t see their shorts, which were covered by the large shirt.

Many TikTokers pointed out how there’s a double standard to dress-coding male students at school versus female students, and called out the hypocrisy of the school’s double dress code: “So the principal dress-coded the girls for the outfits HE put them in? I have no words.”

The Independent has contacted Harlie for comment.

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