Mom explains husband’s ‘hurtful helping’ in viral TikTok

This TikTok mom introduced viewers to a concept she calls “hurtful helping” and explained how, sometimes, her husband is guilty of it!

Rebecca (@rebeccacraig47) is a parent and TikToker who shares relatable stories about her parenting joys and struggles. In a recent video, Rebecca told viewers about her husband’s “hurtful helping,” and shared that sometimes, her husband may believe he is assisting her, when in fact, he is making things more difficult.

The video had viewers polarized, with some sharing similar stories, and others criticizing the mom’s parenting strategies.

The video begins with Rebecca standing at her kitchen counter and staring forlornly into the camera as she eats a bowl of curry. After taking a deep breath, Rebecca begins telling her story. “I got overwhelmed and tried to do the right thing,” she says. “I put my 10-month-old in his crib and I shut the door.”

“I came downstairs to eat my lunch,” she continues. “I figured I’d eat it, have 5 or 10 minutes to myself.”

But then, Rebecca is interrupted by her husband. “My husband came down after about 2 minutes and said, ‘Why is the baby crying?’” Rebecca recalls.

Rebecca tells her husband that she needed a break and put the baby down for a nap. While her husband works from home, she didn’t want to interrupt his work day, so she decided to leave the baby in his crib for a bit.

“He goes, ‘Okay, I’m gonna go get him,’” Rebecca continues. “I’m like, ‘Okay.’”

But it turns out Rebecca’s husband wasn’t planning on comforting the crying baby on his own. “Not even 2 minutes after that, he comes back down holding the baby and tries to give him to me,” Rebecca recalls. “I hadn’t even finished eating my one bowl of curry, you know?”

Rebecca concludes the video by explaining, “And that’s an example of something that I like to call ‘hurtful helping.’”

The controversial video had some viewers siding with Rebecca, while others sided with her husband.

“I’m all for having your own time/break, but leaving your child to cry it out doesn’t help anyone,” one viewer wrote.

“You did the right thing, momma. You deserve to have time to yourself as well,” another viewer chimed in.

“Nope. I understand he is working, but you need a break!” commented another TikToker.

Have you ever experienced hurtful helping?

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