Men Honestly Confessed The Reasons Behind Their Infidelity, And Their Experiences Are All Pretty Different

Reddit user u/Aggravating-Angel217 asked the men of the community: "Men who have cheated: Why did you do it?"

Alan Rickman in "Love Actually"
Universal Pictures

Well, they didn't hold anything back and revealed some pretty unbelievable stories. They ranged from vile to pretty valid, and they're honestly eye-opening.

Will Smith on "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air"

So, here are some of the wildest stories of men cheating on their parnters:

Note: Some stories were pulled from this Reddit thread by user u/serraad and by the BuzzFeed Community.

Note: Some submissions include topics of verbal abuse and domestic abuse. Please proceed with caution.

1."I've [cheated] because after not being touched in a sexual or non-sexual way for six months, the attention from another person is intoxicating and wanted. I'm just used for money and quality time, as long as any of that time does not involve sex in any way anymore. I didn't cheat for sex — if I'm horny, I could just masturbate. But, I wanted to connect with another human who did want to actually touch me."


2."I got tired of the nagging, negative bullshit I had to deal with everyday, as well as the real shitty sex life. I felt terrible cheating, but at the same time, I felt great that I was able to pull it off. I left that woman. Now I am married, and things couldn’t be better. I wouldn’t cheat on my wife for anything! It’s everything I dreamed about, and now I have a beautiful son. Guys — don’t settle for a woman with a garbage history. They never change for the better."


Taylor Swift on "The Graham Norton Show"

3."It was the chance of a lifetime — she's the perfect woman. I had loved and chased her on and off since high school; we had been vague acquaintances at best, but I doubted she knew my name. One day, she messages me out of the blue if I was still living in the city I was living in, that she had some business, and asked if we could meet up. We meet and have an amazing time, there's some alcohol, and she comes back to my house. She says she's had a crush on me since high school as well; we decide to play a drinking game which becomes a taking off clothes game. I'm laying on my bed drunk in my underwear, she's standing beside the bed naked, and says: 'Now what?' I just couldn't contain myself anymore — I have absolutely zero regrets cheating."


4."During a previous on-again, off-again relationship in high school, I connected and slept with a person I eventually began dating. She and I separated last May. She (and everybody else) could see this coming. Realistically, my decision to sleep with her during my previous relationship was ignorant and selfish and cowardly — that relationship should've ended days prior. I just never had the balls to agree with my first ex that it was over. At least not before sleeping with my new ex."

"It led to emotional love bombing between us both — we just connected for the wrong reasons. We both had just separated from people and got together. We had a great relationship in a lot of ways for about six months, but it broke down during that time. In the following two years, we grew apart and actually never had any sort of sexual intimacy for that time period. I went to inpatient therapy earlier on in our relationship because I struggled with depression, and she eventually expressed that my emotional deterioration triggered her own trauma and made it difficult to be attracted to me.

I loved her and wanted to build a future with her and was always willing to put aside our differences. But it's all good — things change, and you have to accept some things aren't for you and won't work out."


Kristen Bell on "The Good Place"

5."One of my close friends was a notorious cheater, and as far as I know, he cheated on all his girlfriends. He cheated on his last girlfriend of many years with his now-wife. The sermon at their wedding even cracked a joke about their love story. Something along the lines of, 'After they met abroad, John had to return to his home country to take care of some [air quotes] 'unfinished business' [wink-wink].' They have three kids now, and he’s an awesome dad."


6."My brother constantly cheated on one of his ex-girlfriends. One of the women he’d cheat with was a friend's sister, and it went on for a while. After he split from his ex, she pursued him and they dated. As his interest, unsurprisingly, quickly waned, she pulled the goalie in a last-ditch effort. They stayed together until my nephew was about 1, and my brother just called it all off and walked away. She legitimately thought they were soulmates, and basically forced him to take her to court to see his son when he started dating someone new (his now-wife of 10-plus years). They had a terrible co-parenting relationship for a long time, and she even wanted to discuss how things ended 'for closure' before her wedding (which he refused)."

"Surprisingly, he has a great relationship with her husband now, as they’ve bonded over how much both of them dislike her family. Her daughter with him and my niece are also good friends too. It worked out after a decade of turmoil, but it didn’t work out for her and her dreams after being 'the other woman.'

My brother didn’t treat many women well before his wife, so he’s an asshole in this as well."


Naya Rivera on "Glee"

7."I cheated after being in a long-term relationship and asking to have sex for years. And if/when we did, it was the same three positions in the same order. There was no oral for me, even though I performed every time on her (mostly because I like it). She never initiated or even showed the slightest interest in intimacy (not just sex, but any kind of intimacy). It was years of not being shown any kind of value at all, even though I was sole-income source, a great father, and a helpful husband. I was told to pick up more overtime after taking a little time off because I was underfoot too much. I ended up spending a lot of time working directly with a very lovely lady — I was spending more time with her than with my wife and kids. She made me feel seen — she was kind and funny, always willing to listen to how I felt and what I thought. We bonded and became very close friends until one day it became more than that."

"I was finally getting the emotional and physical intimacy that I had craved for for years. Someone valued me for who I was and not what I could do for her.

I owe her so much for helping me see how miserable I was, and that I deserved better for myself. She was the one who showed me that I was slowly dying in the life I was living — that is when I knew I needed out."


8."I home-wrecked a relationship and dated the girl for years. Every interaction she had with another guy triggered me with anxiety, and she had a lot of guy friends. We broke up for other reasons, but that anxiety was a killer, and I felt as if it was my karma."


9."We were fighting a lot, and I thought the relationship was gonna end inevitably regardless of whether or not I cheated. So, the opportunity came up on its own, and I took it with zero hesitation. I didn't know cheating would kill any small possibility of us getting better and growing together. By cheating, I essentially admitted through my actions that I had no respect for her. We tried to patch things up and make it work afterwards, but it couldn't work because I've already proven to her and myself that I'm not gonna be faithful when times get tough. I wasn't loyal or committed to anyone but myself."


Courteney Cox on "Friends"

10."A close family member stayed with the woman he cheated with, even though she was insufferable and he was miserable. For decades we asked why, and his answer was always, 'I made this bed — now I have to lie in it.' A sad existence, but also, '*NOW* you wanna be accountable and committed?'"


11."My boyfriend of 10 years cheated. The excuse? It was 'my fault' for having terminal cancer. He 'didn't ask' to have a girlfriend with cancer. So, I am leaving and living what's left of my life without his lying and cheating. They broke the mold when they made him...he's a real winner!"


Viola Davis in "How to Get Away with Murder"

12."I cheated [because] I was trying to find value and my self-worth in sleeping with women. Growing up, I was far from being a ladies' man. In college, I worked on myself to improve my self-confidence, as all my life I had been longing to have someone who liked me back — all I ever wanted was a girlfriend. As my self-esteem grew, so did my luck with the ladies. Eventually, I was able to get a girlfriend (someone who was good to me), but I wasn't satisfied. I continued to look for validation from other women, which turned into cheating on my girlfriend. I thought I had discovered self-confidence because I could be more social and was more outgoing, but I realized that on the inside, I was still insecure. Growing up in my family, there were no good examples of healthy relationships, either — all of my uncles were womanizers. This probably had an impact on me as well."


13."I'm guilty of infidelity in my marriage, and although I regret it, these situations are much more complex. I love my wife deeply, and she has forgiven me. In the end, it was me who suffered the most from my own actions, and I will pay for the indiscretions for the rest of my life with the regret I feel for my actions. People are not perfect beings, and making bad decisions is part of the human condition. What is important is that we learn from these mistakes and avoid repeating them. Intimate life partnering is fraught with complexity and nuance, so placing infidelity into neat right vs. wrong packages is oversimplifying the subject, and ignoring the subtleties that affect these relationships."


14.And finally: "I was 25 and unhappy in the relationship, but didn’t want to leave and neither did she. My neighbor kept hinting that she was into me. One thing led to another, and...well…(and to make matters worse, I was good friends with the neighbor's husband). I lost a friend and my relationship. It was fucked up, and I take full-blame. There was no excuse. I’m 31 now and told myself I’d never do it again — I’d never put myself in a position to cheat again, and I haven’t."


Sarah Jessica Parker on "Sex and the City" saying men are bullshit

Note: Some submissions have been edited for length and/or clarity.