Melanie C on the Dark Side of Being a Spice Girl and Why She Wants the Group to Headline Coachella

You may think you know Melanie Chisholm, but to quote a bygone MTV series of the Spice Girls era, “you have no idea.”

Enter The Sporty One, Chisholm’s revealing new memoir, which comes out Tuesday in the U.S. and serves as both a juicily detailed account of being in the world’s biggest girl group, as well as a cautionary tale of that dizzying global stardom.

As Chisholm recounts, the relentless Spice Girls circus—which launched 26 years ago with “Wannabe” and spanned two smash albums and a hit movie before fizzling out following Geri Halliwell’s shock departure from the group—was every bit as giddily chaotic as it seemed on the surface. There’s no shortage of thrilling stories in these pages: the girls’ Scooby Doo-esque “mad plan” to steal their demo tapes before fleeing their original managers; the time they swiped Seal’s phone number and called him up while barking like seals; the day they signed their record deal and Victoria Beckham got so drunk that someone flung her underwear out the window of their limo.

But creeping beneath the surface for Chisholm was the grueling pressure to be perfect—only made worse by dogged, sexist media coverage, especially from the British tabloids—that led to crippling anxiety, an eating disorder, and a self-punishing exercise addiction. As she increasingly felt “trapped” in the band, she “turned into a robot,” admitting in her book, “I would be the best I could possibly be in every way. It would nearly kill me.”

Ultimately, though, The Sporty One is a tale of self-acceptance and resilience, as the now-48-year-old eventually faced her demons and learned to embrace her girl-powered legacy. The Spice Girls, sans Beckham, most recently reunited in 2019 for a stadium tour, at which point Chisholm realized, “I was nervous about becoming Sporty Spice, until I realized that, well, I am Sporty Spice, she’s always in there.” And that’s great news for fans of the high-kicking, backflipping Brit, as The Sporty One also sheds light on Chisholm’s humble beginnings, her childhood dream of being the next Madonna, and what’s motivated her to keep making music (she released her eighth solo album, Melanie C, in 2020).

Below, Chisholm discusses her excellent new memoir and gamely answers all our burning Spice Girls questions, including when Spice World will be on streaming platforms, the fate of the long-lost Spice song “C U Next Tuesday,” and, of course, whether or not another reunion is in the works.

When you set out to write this book, were there any specific misconceptions about you that you wanted to correct?

I think there’s been so much written about myself and the Spice Girls that it was really lovely to just go through everything and explain it in my words. In interviews I’m always very open, I like to be candid, but I feel like there are certain publications, especially here in the U.K., that don’t always handle things as you wish they would. So it was good to do that. And I think one of the things I’ve learned over the years is you can never change people’s opinions. Everybody has their idea of how things go down. But it was really nice to just talk about the beginning of the Spice Girls, how everything happened, how it all came about, because I do think there’s a misconception that it was this manufactured band, and that these identities were given to us, and we were like these characters. But it really all stemmed from a real place. So it was nice to explain that.

I loved reading about those early days of the band and all the Spice Girls antics—that sense of anarchy and breaking the rules, and how you five were like a tornado when you went into a room together. At the same time, you write a lot about how you were quite meek and didn’t stand up for yourself. I’m wondering if you can just speak to that: about how both of those things were true at the same time.

I think that was something where I feel very grateful to the other girls in the band, because it was very much about a dynamic. I am very confident and, I believe, very powerful onstage. But sometimes behind the scenes I’m quite shy, where other members of the band were much more outspoken. I just think collectively, we had this courage to break the rules, and I feel like if I was alone I probably wouldn’t have been as brave. So yeah, I do have a strange thing about myself in that I’m very confident to get up onstage and perform in front of hundreds, thousands, tens of thousands of people, but then sometimes in a room of a few I feel quite self-conscious. And I think lots of performers have that, don’t they? It’s quite an odd thing.

Yeah, I think certain performers are able to come alive in a different way and have almost a different persona when they’re onstage. And maybe just the fact that there were five of you meant you could be stronger as a unit.

Absolutely. It was like we had backup. And also within that dynamic, which I kind of explain in the book, we’d be going in and causing this chaos, but then I would maybe be there like, tidying up behind them. We all had a little role to play for that dynamic to work.

After the band’s second album, Spiceworld, it seemed really clear that you all needed a break. And I thought it was interesting that you wrote that, like Geri, you were “desperate to escape too,” is how you put it. If she hadn’t left the group at that point, do you think you would have left eventually?

Oh, wow. That’s a big question, isn’t it? Yeah, I just don’t know how sustainable that lifestyle was. You know, the rates that we were working, the pressure that we were under, and the output—the music, the movie, the touring, the constant promotion. I know that for lots of artists, if you’re lucky enough to become successful, it’s hard work. But then once you’re there, that’s where the real work begins. For us, it was kind of what made us, but it’s kind of what broke us as well. So yeah, it would be interesting to know how things would have turned out if Geri hadn’t gone at that point, or if we’d had a little respite, which we all needed.

And yet, during that time between the Spice Girls’ second and third albums, you took that opportunity to go out and start your solo career and make Northern Star, instead of taking that time off. What was your pull toward being a solo artist at that point?

I think there were two things. One, I was really scared to stop, because I think I was still very much in denial about some of the issues that I was going through. So for me, stopping work meant I had to deal with stuff. But if I could continue to busy myself and be distracted by things, I was safe, you know? I had this framework to work within. And the other thing was, I was just really desperate to express myself as an individual. I love my work with the Spice Girls. Obviously it’s everything, and it’s enabled me to go on and do other things. But there was this side of me that was like, you know what, there’s things I want to say. Not in a collaborative sense as a Spice Girl, but just as me.

It’s also interesting that you’re the only one who’s had real, sustained success as a solo artist. Not to discredit the other girls, but you’ve pretty undisputedly had the biggest and longest music career out of the group. Does that surprise you, and what do you think that says about you as an artist?

For me, I love performing. That is what drives me. I love being onstage. I love looking out over an audience connecting with people, and I love music. I find it so therapeutic not only to write music, but to perform those songs, and it’s absolutely everything I want to do. My career has given me so many other opportunities, but really, that’s what drives me. And it’s hard. I think coming out of a band like the Spice Girls, you’re doing it on the highest of levels, and it’s wonderful. You get to play incredible venues. You get to do it in a very comfortable way. It’s lovely, and people are interested. It’s good for your ego. You feel important. You feel like you matter. And then becoming a solo artist, you can never match those heights. You can never eclipse this enormous thing that you were a part of, and I think for your ego, that’s hard.

But for me, there’s kind of no choice, you know? If I don’t do it, I don’t feel like I’m fulfilling who I am. Like through the pandemic, not being able to perform, it was like, who the hell am I? I felt like this identity was so lost because I didn’t have that outlet. So it’s all I’ve ever wanted to do, and at times it’s been hard. Financially, it’s been difficult. And there’s been lots of disappointment. So I think the other girls have slightly different drivers. I don’t think anyone was as driven as much as I am to get up on that stage. I mean, that might sound unfair. But I think they found other outlets that fulfill them enough. But for me, it’s the music.

Well, I’m grateful that you did keep going, because I always thought you were the best vocalist—no offense to the others.

Thank you, thank you! But honestly there is no choice as long as I can keep making music and releasing music. And you know, obviously, we want to be successful. We want to play these big shows. But at the end of the day, you can continue to do it at so many levels. So yeah, I’ll be there and making music for some time to come.

You write a lot about the struggles you faced while in the group, and I got to thinking about people like Britney Spears, who was experiencing the same kind of intense fame that you were around the same time period. At first I thought, well at least you five had each other, instead of going through it alone. But reading this book, it kind of does sound like you had a very insular experience within the group and that you couldn’t really be honest with them about your struggles, and maybe that was true for them too. Do you think things would have been different if you’d all talked openly to each other more during that time?

Yeah, I think in many ways it was a saving grace to have each other, because, like you say, we were there experiencing the same thing, but dealing with it in different ways. I think everybody had their own issues and demons and things that they had to face. Personally, for me, I was very ashamed of my behavior. Having an eating disorder to me was very embarrassing, and I didn’t want anybody to know. And I was in denial for a lot of my time in the Spice Girls. I didn’t want to be questioned, I didn’t want to be called out. So that made me feel very isolated. But I think overall I do feel grateful that it’s something we went through as a collective. I always feel for solo artists, because you can have the closest people around you, but they can’t fully understand what that thing feels like.

One awful experience that you write about in this book is what happened to you before the big Spice Girls concert in Istanbul, when you were sexually assaulted by a masseur. I’m sorry that happened to you, and I’m wondering why you decided to open up about it now, for the first time, in this book.

Yeah, it was so strange because the timing of it meant I just buried it immediately, because there was much bigger things in my world that I had to focus on. Which, in some ways, maybe that was a good thing at the time. But then over time, I don’t think it’s good to not address these things. And also, the really fucked-up thing about it is that the guy was never held accountable for doing that. And, you know, did he go on to do that to other people? Did he go on to do worse things to other people? And I have to live with that because I didn’t pursue it.

So I think that’s the worst thing about it. And it was important, I think, for me to talk about it in the book. I did wonder whether I should, and then I thought, you know what, I probably really should because much worse things happen to people. When it comes to any kind of abuse, this, to me, feels like a mild experience. Nevertheless, it doesn’t mean it’s not important, and I just want other people who have felt like that and been in positions where somebody’s used their power in such a disgusting way to feel that it is important to talk about it and address it and to deal with it, and to hopefully make those people accountable.

And hearing that it happened right before that huge, televised concert is equally heartbreaking and astounding, because the fact that you were able to give such an incredible performance right after that happened to you…

And I think this is something throughout my career which I’ve learned. I’ve been on the floor in dressing rooms not able to stop crying, but then you have to go onstage and you have to perform. And you learn that it’s incredible what we’re capable of. I’m not saying it’s right and that’s what we should do. And I think more recently we’ve had really high-profile sports people and musicians that have put their physical and mental wellbeing above performing, and I think that’s a really interesting and healthy change in our society, to acknowledge that we are not superhuman and sometimes other things like ourselves have to take priority.

Absolutely. On a lighter note, I’ve recently read memoirs by Mariah Carey and Jessica Simpson, both of which are now being adapted for the screen. Could you see your book being turned into a Mel C biopic or a Spice Girls biopic?

Yeah! I would absolutely love that. Because I do feel it took me so long to decide to write the memoir. But really, it is an incredible story. And you know, where I grew up and where I came from, I think it’s a really interesting part of the world. And I think for an American audience, it’s a real insight into that working-class Northern British background. I wanted to be able to give them a real description of life in the U.K. through those different eras. I talk about the TV shows and the music and the sweets we were eating, and all of those things. It was really important for me to give it a very visual feel.

Yeah, that would be very cool to see on screen. Who do you think could play you?

Ah, I’ve never really given it that much thought. There’s so many great young actresses out there.

It’d be hard, because they’d have to be an actor and a singer and a dancer.

A triple threat! And an acrobat!

Speaking of movies, I must ask you: Spice World is not streaming anywhere. Can we fix this? Like, what is happening?

Yes! We are working on it. It’s been a little bit complicated behind the scenes. But this year we celebrate 25 years since Spice World, the movie and the album. So yeah, we’re beavering away behind the scenes to try and get that back out there for people to enjoy.

OK, good, because I’m pretty sure my husband doesn’t believe that it’s a real movie because we can’t watch it anywhere. I’ve tried describing it to him, like, “No, I swear, their bus driver is Meat Loaf and there’s a part where they meet aliens!” He’s like, “No way, that is not real.”

“This is a fucked-up dream you had!” Hopefully by the end of the year we’ll have it up there so you can prove to him that it’s real.

Great, thank you. I actually didn’t really put it together until I was reading this book how many real-life parallels there were in that movie. I remember there’s a tabloid newspaper owner who’s trying to plot the group’s downfall, and there’s a photographer who’s hired to stalk you, and you’re constantly begging your manager for time off because you’re overworked. That must have been trippy to film all that when you’re actually dealing with those kinds of intense things in real life.

You know, the movie is like a long form of “Wannabe” the video, because that was exactly what we did. We went into record labels and publishing companies and we jumped on the table, and I’d do a backflip, and we’d play “Wannabe” on the boom box, and we wanted to encapsulate that energy and chaos of the Spice Girls in the video. And the movie really was completely inspired by what was going on. It was written by Simon Fuller’s brother, Kim Fuller, and we literally talked about these events that were going on. So it was truly, yeah, inspired by our lives. It’s crazy.

Speaking of “Wannabe,” you do explicitly say in the book, for the record, that “zig-a-zig-ah” means sex. And you also mentioned that that phrase would have been in the Spice Girls dictionary that you apparently kept during those early years in the band. My first question is, where is that dictionary? And secondly, what’s an example of something else that would be in there?

Oh my goodness. I haven’t found it, I’ve got to find this… it was like a notebook, and I remember sitting on a bed somewhere. I remember Mel B was there, Geri was there, and we were writing down all the… you know what it’s like with groups of friends, and you have these silly little in-jokes and silly words you use? We were writing it all down, and I mean, it would be incredible to find that. But yeah, I can’t think of any of it. Sometimes we’d have our little signs as well. This isn’t in the book, but it’s just popped into my head: If we were ever in a photoshoot and we’d had enough, we would just start going, [cheering and clapping] “YEAH!” and that would signal the end. We’d go, “Yeah! Thank you!” and just all start clapping. We were a photographer’s nightmare. But yeah, I can’t think of any of the other silly words. I’ll have a think for you.

I hope you find that notebook. I also hope that someday we’ll get to hear some of the unreleased songs you mention in this book that the group wrote and recorded for that first album. I’m most curious about “C U Next Tuesday.” Will that ever see the light of day? And should it?

I think it should. I think there were nerves around it being on the anniversary edition of Spice for certain reasons, which I think is a shame. Because there’s a real charm about it. I mean, that’s what I’ve loved with some of the demos that we’ve had remastered and put on things for the fans, because, you know, technology was very different then. So these demos are full of bum notes and things being out of time, and that’s kind of cute, you know what I mean? You would never get that now, because everything is so polished to perfection.

What is that song about?

I think this is the one when we were talking about boyfriends who are just like… you know when your friend is with this guy and you can just see he’s a dick and he’s not treating her the way she should be treated? We were in a discussion, and there was one particular boy around the time, and that was what inspired the song. It’s just about those boys who… I mean, I see my daughter now, and she’s 13 and she’s very confident. But you still see this. I hate the situations where it’s like the boys have the control. It’s that, “Mm mm mm, he’s not hot enough for you, girl, you just remember that!” I think it’s, you know, within our lives and our developments there are moments where we allow other people to be in control of our emotions, and it’s hard for us to stay strong.

That honestly sounds like a perfect Spice Girls song—a real “Girl Power” song. So I do hope we get to hear it someday. You also write at one point in the book, “The Spice Girls have never officially split up, and we never will.” With that in mind, you know I have to ask you: Are there currently any planned reunions or performances in the works? I’ve seen rumors about U.S. shows, Glastonbury, Coachella, a movie sequel. Is any of it happening?

It’s constant, isn’t it? The truth is, we do talk about it, and the truth is, we would like to make it happen. We were kind of thrown a little bit, like the whole world, through the pandemic. We did our shows in the U.K. and Ireland in stadiums in 2019, which were incredible, and some of us more than others are like, “We want to do more! We want to do them now!” But the four of us are all in agreement that we do want to do more. It’s just figuring out when, how, and where.

And festivals are a possibility?

Festivals would be great. I think Coachella would be incredible. I was at Coachella this year, and it was my first time and I just loved it. It was so wonderful. I just feel like it’s an interesting festival and it’s very different to a British festival. I feel like the sound and the production and the artists there were really outstanding. So I’m actually planning to go back again next year. I’ve booked my accommodation in the hope that I’ll actually need it, because I might be working there. Maybe not with the Spice Girls, maybe a little DJ set or something would be nice.

That would be awesome. And do you think that if the Spice Girls were to do any future performances, it would be all five of you?

At the moment, Victoria is still having a little rest from being onstage with us. She’s still very much part of the band in other decisions that we make and the creative behind the show we did in 2019. But I think the ultimate would be to have all five of us back onstage. But no pressure. You know, we respect each other enough to give each other that space. But we would love her there, of course.

This interview has been edited and condensed for clarity.

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