Maya Vander Says She 'Still Feels Guilty' Over Pregnancy Losses: 'I Should Have Known Better'

Selling Sunset alum Maya Vander is opening up about the two grueling pregnancy losses she faced in the last year.

Despite knowing deep down she couldn't have prevented the losses, Vander tells PEOPLE exclusively that she wishes she listened to her gut as she still can't help but put the blame on herself.

"It helps me knowing I'm not alone and that it's not my fault because I still feel guilty to this day," the 40-year-old shares while discussing the 1060 real estate app. "I should have known better."

In December 2021, the mom of two took to social media to announce the news that she had suffered a stillbirth at 38 weeks pregnant with her son Mason. Six months later, Vander lost another baby, suffering a miscarriage at 10 weeks.

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Maya Vander/Instagram

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When Vander started to feel less movement amid her pregnancy, she scheduled a private ultrasound that showed Mason had a perfectly fine heartbeat. At the time, Vander says she relaxed having this information but admits something still didn't sit right.

"I feel sometimes that I should have known better," the Maya Vander Group founder shares. "I'm educated, but I really had no clue that my baby [was] going through some sort of distress. The heartbeat was fine and the cord was away from the neck. That was like, 'Okay, perfect. Maybe I'm paranoid. Maybe he moves less because he's big. I'm nine months pregnant and that's the reason.' But no, the baby's in distress, and I really want women to know that and listen to their instincts."

Although Vander still struggles with the pain from the losses, she's hoping to add another sibling alongside son Aiden, 3, and daughter Elle, 2.

Maya Vander/Instagram

"I still want to have another baby after my loss eight months ago," the real estate agent says. "We'll see what happens, but I'm taking it easy. I'm taking it one day at a time, focusing on work and my family and friends and just life post Selling Sunset. I can't complain. I'm very, very lucky."

Vander and her husband David Miller have already begun trying to add another little one to their family, which she says is helping her through the grieving process.

"I am scared," Vander shares. "On one hand, sure, I'm happy and lucky I can just move on and just be happy with my two beautiful children, but people don't understand that when you go through such a loss, you still have a huge, huge void. For me, it's how to replace. I still can't let go of the fact that I could have had a nine-month-old baby right now."

Aisha Ali

While the Israeli native hopes to have good news sooner than later, she's beginning the next phase of her life away from the Netflix series and is keeping busy with her kids and career — made easier with the new 1060 app that allows her to show and see listings while connecting with real estate agents virtually from all over the world.

"I've been really busy in Miami," Vander says. "I have my group. I grew to six people on my team. I've been focusing on the market here, trying to establish my Maya Vander group in Florida and it's been really great. I've been really busy with the kids."

"Walking away from Selling Sunset was not an easy decision, but it was the right decision. It's an end of a chapter," she adds. "I believe that every end has a new beginning, and my beginning is my family in Miami and my work."