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Man sparks debate with response to girlfriend’s ‘shady’ after-work plans: ‘I don’t want to be called controlling’

A man isn’t sure why his girlfriend seems weird about meeting up with a male coworker.

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He asked Reddit’s “Relationship Advice” forum for suggestions. His girlfriend told him that a colleague keeps asking her to chill outside of work. She insists she doesn’t want to spend any time with the coworker. But when he told her not to hang out with the colleague, she became upset.

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“My girlfriend of 4 years and I have a healthy friendship group as well as separate individual friendship groups,” he wrote. “She raised a question recently asking me what do about a colleague of similar age asking to meet after work or on a weekend to smoke weed, as they got talking about it during a work event. (Me and my partner do occasionally smoke)."

The Reddit poster claimed the girlfriend started to feel bad for making up excuses to avoid hanging out with her coworker. The poster added that he told her he personally wouldn't do drugs with a coworker nor would he feel comfortable if she did. Unfortunately, the girlfriend got defensive.

"Ultimately I told her, she can do what she wants to do because I don't want to be called controlling but it would make me unhappy emotionally," the poster wrote.

The girlfriend then said that she'd given the coworker another excuse, but the poster became worried that he was being controlling. But he also wondered: if she said she didn't actually want to hang out with her coworker, why had she brought up the question in the first place.

People felt like the girlfriend was sending a lot of mixed signals about what she really wanted.

“Her saying she doesn’t want to go but then saying she doesn’t want to say no is the red flag to me,” a Redditor stated.

“What she is saying shady,” a person wrote.

“Your response is reasonable and mature. You brought up your concerns, I don’t think that’s manipulative, that’s good communication,” another added.

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The post Man sparks debate with response to girlfriend’s ‘shady’ after-work plans: ‘I don’t want to be called controlling’ appeared first on In The Know.

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