Man asks if he should visit his girlfriend even though they’re ‘on a break’: ‘Should I move on?’

·3 min read

A man is wondering whether to visit his girlfriend after she told him she wanted to go on a “break” from their relationship, and Redditors were happy to provide some tough love.

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The man told his story on Reddit’s “Relationship Advice” forum and asked Reddit what to do. Though he loves his girlfriend, the man feels confused and frustrated by his girlfriend’s insistence on taking a break from their relationship.

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The man explains that he is a 24-year-old who is about to start a graduate program in physical therapy, while his girlfriend is a 21-year-old college student. The man’s girlfriend has been away all summer, staying with her family. Recently, the girlfriend canceled plans to have her boyfriend come visit her.

“She ended up telling me that she’s been dealing with depression throughout the summer and she needed some space to figure out what was going on with herself mentally,” the man wrote.

However, the girlfriend began sending mixed messages. Despite the “break,” she continued to call her boyfriend and act like they were together.

“I insisted that I needed the space if we were gonna do this,” the man explained. “I treated it like a breakup.”

A week later, the man told his girlfriend that he didn’t want to be on a “break.” He explained that he would prefer to simply move on from the relationship. However, the girlfriend begged him not to break up. The man agreed to stay in the relationship, but he said he almost immediately began getting mixed signals from his girlfriend once again.

“Unfortunately, she says we’re not technically dating even though we’ve been acting like a couple,” the man wrote. “She says we need to see how things go this semester with school because we won’t have as much time to talk to each other.”

Now, the man’s girlfriend wants him to visit her at her college and help her move into a new apartment. “I can’t help but worry if I’m just going to get heartbroken again,” the man continued. “In her mind she says we have to see how this semester goes and try to make it work.”

“Should I come see her next week? Or should I move on, grieve, heal, and focus on school?” the man asked Reddit.

For the most part, Redditors advised the man to break up with his girlfriend and make a fresh start.

“If you keep doing what you’re doing, you’ll keep getting what you’re getting,” one Redditor wrote.

“Don’t be a backup plan. Be the plan. Break up, and move on,” another Redditor advised.

In an edit on the post, the man revealed that he took Reddit’s advice and broke up with his girlfriend. “I decided to end it. It has been on my mind for a while but a lot of people reconfirmed my intuition,” the man wrote. “It sucks and it’s painful but I know it will get better over time.”

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