Macaulay Culkin Re-Lives His 'Home Alone' Trauma in New Video Short (NSFW)

Gwynne Watkins
·Writer, Yahoo Entertainment

Ever wonder what Home Alone’s Kevin McAllister would be like as a grown-up? The angel-faced protagonist played by Macaulay Culkin, who was nine years old when he filmed the 1990 holiday comedy, was nothing if not resourceful: Accidentally left behind by his family during Christmas vacation, he single-handedly fended off two burglars (the “Wet Bandits” played by Joe Pesci and Daniel Stern) with a series of brutal booby traps. But being abandoned by your parents, then pitted against two violent strangers, has to take a psychological toll. In the first episode of the new digital series :DRYVRS (created by Jack Dishel), Culkin, 35, pays homage to the role that cemented his childhood fame — and it doesn’t take long for things to get dark. Watch it above. (Warning: Strong language!)

The five-minute video, co-starring Dishel, never references Culkin’s character by name. But around 90 seconds in, he begins a telltale rant about an childhood incident that scarred him for life: His entire family left him alone in the house on Christmas when he was eight years old, and he had to fight off “psychopath home invaders.” Culkin’s character still has nightmares, he says, about “this bald weirdo dude chasing me around, talking like Yosemite Sam” — meaning Harry, the slightly-smarter bandit played by Joe Pesci. “They [didn’t] even curse, calling me like ‘louse’ and s— like that,” Culkin recalls with confusion (a joking reference to Home Alone’s PG-rated dialogue).

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When asked whether his mother tried to rescue him, Culkin’s character scoffs, “She didn’t care, man. She was too busy being a groupie to a polka band or something like that.” In fact, throughout the movie, Mrs. McAllister (Catherine O’Hara) desperately tries to get a flight back home, unbeknownst to her son. In the end, she hitches a ride in a van with a traveling polka band (led by John Candy in a cameo).

After unloading these horrible family memories on Dishel, Culkin’s car is approached by a carjacker — and in true Home Alone fashion, grown-up Kevin takes him on (using an improvised weapon reminiscent of the film’s hot-doorknob trick). The episode ends with a disturbing image of Culkin, shirtless and covered in blood, re-creating his famously adorable scream. Spoiler warning: 25 years later, it’s not so cute.

Watch a ‘Home Alone’ trailer: