Louie Gohmert Remains the Undisputed Emperor of the Crazy People

·2 min read
Photo credit: Bill Clark - Getty Images
Photo credit: Bill Clark - Getty Images

Long ago, at least in Blog Time, when Michele Bachmann vacated Congress, we searched here in the shebeen for a new Padishah Emperor of The Crazy People. After a thorough accounting of various portfolios of The Stupid, we settled the crown atop the shining dome of Rep. Louie Gohmert (R-Texas). We never have felt for one second that we chose poorly, not even when Matt Gaetz, Lauren Boebert, and Marjorie Taylor Greene descended on the House of Representatives and obviously began styling themselves as possible contenders over the past couple of years. We knew that Emperor Louie had deep reserves of lunacy that were still untapped. We have not been disappointed.

In a hearing on ways to cope with the climate crisis, Gohmert got a chance to ask questions of Jennifer Eberlien, the associate deputy chief of the National Forest Service. (The hearing also involved officials from the Bureau of Land Management.) He was curious about what strategies might be employed by the NFS and the BLM to mitigate the effects of the crisis, and he wasn’t talking about half-measures, either. Emperor Louie was thinking big.

Is there anything that the National Forest Service, or BLM can do to change the course of the moon's orbit or the Earth's orbit around the sun? Obviously they would have profound effects on our climate.

Eberlein took an obvious two-beat, probably to allow the thought balloon above her head, reading, "Thank god I’m doing this remotely" to dissipate, before telling Gohmert:

I would have to follow up with you on that.

To which Gohmert suggested that, if Eberlein could figure out how to turn Smokey the Bear into Captain Marvel, she should get back to him about how to do it. The Management would like to remind you that, the last time that Louie Gohmert won re-election from the First Congressional District in Texas, he did so because 216,726 humans—or, 72 percent of the humans who voted—voted for him. To borrow an epigram we usually use elsewhere: This is your democracy, America. Cherish it.

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