Frazer Harrison/Getty Lorde
In a newsletter to fans sent Tuesday, the "Royals" singer, 24, explained that 2021 has turned out differently than she expected, calling the year "a real f---ing head spinner."
"The pandemic has continued to make things difficult, lonely, or dangerous for absolutely everyone in varying degrees, but outside of that, 2021 has been tough in completely unexpected ways," Lorde wrote.
"Being away from home at a time where the country's struggling to contain the virus, feeling isolated from friends and loved ones there. Looking out at the country I'm in and feeling estranged from so much of what I see, and knowing it feels as estranged from me," the New Zealand-born artist continued, adding that she is "questioning what I'm doing and why, all the time, on an unprecedented level."
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Elsewhere in the newsletter, Lorde, born Ella Marija Lani Yelich-O'Connor, informed readers she's currently residing in New York City, where she takes long walks as a way of getting "an interesting cross section of multiple neighbourhoods."
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The two-time Grammy winner also touched upon her "decision to step back from social media" — her last Instagram post was shared in mid-June — as "something I've really questioned through this time."
"I was so sure skipping the negatives (compulsive time-wasting, IV drip of dread, satisfying but hollow validation loop) would outweigh missing out on the positives (feeling like part of a community, hearing your sweet words, hitting you back). But I've really, really missed you," she shared in the newsletter.
"Normally I'd be doing festivals and shows already, pinging around the world and touching your faces, so that probably contributes to the loneliness a little bit," added the singer, who released her album Solar Power in August.
Last month, Lorde spoke with Variety for their Power of Women issue about navigating through the music industry as a "shy girl" — and why it's vital to be able to stand up for yourself.
"Being bold is vital because people are only going to listen to you if you speak up," she told the outlet. "It's hard for me — I'm shy, I'm a shy girl. But, you always regret not being bold, and you very rarely regret toughening up and doing it."