In his monologue Thursday, Jimmy Kimmel expressed some frustration with the Jan. 6 Committee, and deep skepticism about the possibility it will ever hold Trump responsible for his role in the Jan. 6 attack.
“Nothing bad ever actually happens to Donald Trump,” Kimmel lamented, before dismissing the committee itself as “just a Neighborhood Watch group hoping the cops show up.” Ouch.
This bit of the monologue was inspired by the report this week that as the committee gets ready to release its final report — you know, after dithering for 2 years, and then waiting until after the election, when we already know the investigation would have died anyway the second Republicans take control in January.
Specifically, according to multiple reports, the committee is “considering” recommending charges be filed against Trump, a recommendation that, infuriatingly, would only be “symbolic.” And as we said, Kimmel was pretty sure nothing is ever gonna happen when he talked about it.
“The other big news that came out of the House is that the January 6th committee — remember all those hearings that aired at even more random times than the World Cup soccer games? Well, not only is the House Select Committee expected to release their final report this month, they’re considering criminal referrals for Donald Trump and his associates,” Kimmel said.
“These would be largely symbolic, because of course they would be. Nothing bad ever actually happens to Donald Trump. But I guess we all knew the committee couldn’t prosecute Trump itself, but it’s a bummer to remember that Liz Cheney and her crew are basically just a Neighborhood Watch group hoping the cops show up after they file a report about a nut in a red hat urinating on their front lawns you know,” he said.
“How has he not been charged? It’s amazing how long this is taking. I mean, he’s not the Zodiac killer,” Kimmel continued. “He’s right there, at home in Florida, eating pork chops with Nazis! Go get him,” Kimmel added.
“Because of that,” Kimmel went on, referring to Trump’s recent meetings, plural, with white supremacists, “a handful of Republicans are now working to move their party away from Trump, including Senator Mitt Romney, who said: ‘President Trump lost again, and I know a lot of people in our party love the president – former president – but he is, if you will, the kiss of death for somebody who wants to win a general election.'”
“Wow, the Mitt is hitting the Tan isn’t it. Mitt Romney is out of control. There are rumors he’s even started drinking strawberry milk,” Kimmel joked.
There’s more, including some jokes about the (long overdue) release of WNBA star Britney Griner from a Russian Prison, and Kanye’s tax problems. Watch the whole monologue above.