Kimmel Likens Trump-Pence GOP Primary Spat to Depp Trial: All You’re Left With Is Poop in the Bed (Video)

·2 min read

Jimmy Kimmel taped the monologue Tuesday’s episode of Jimmy Kimmel Live” before news broke of the horrific mass shooting at an elementary school in Texas in which 19 children were murdered — so as a result his monologue dealt with less heavy issues instead.

For instance, the Republican gubernatorial primary in Georgia, which turned into a proxy battle between Donald Trump and his former Vice President Mike Pence. As well as general Trump (and Republican) corruption. Watch the whole monologue above, or read on for a recap.

Kimmel talked about how Trump bilked the U.S. government out of millions of dollars because he billed them his own secret service detail — “It’s funny to think Donald Trump’s only profitable business venture was being President of the United States,” Kimmel joked.

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Then he talked about a weird twist in one of the Jan. 6 insurrectionist cases, followed by a few jokes about outgoing Republican congressman Madison Cawthorn. Then he got to the Georgia GOP primary situation — and a fun insult about Trump and his former adviser Kellyanne Conway.

“You know, it’s election day today in five states. There were primaries in Georgia, Alabama, Arkansas, Texas, and Minnesota,” Kimmel said. “I mentioned last night, Kellyanne Conway, Trump’s former adviser, has a new autobiography. They’ve been releasing tidbits from the autobiography. One of them being, she admits that Trump lost the election. But she’s very careful to do it in the one place she could be sure he would never see it: which is a book.”

“This election thing,” Kimmel continued, “officials from both parties in every state have concluded that there was no fraud. Biden won the election. In Florida, Governor Ron DeSantis, his own Secretary of State wrote ‘Florida’s election in 2020 was accurate, transparent and conducted in compliance with Florida law.’ And still he felt it necessary to create a special election police force. This is a 24-person team that he created to make sure what never happened in the first place, ever happens again.”

“The big primary showdown was in Georgia today. Trump went in big: He’s backing David Perdue for Governor because he’s mad at the incumbent, Brian Kemp, because Brian Kemp refused to help him illegally overturn the election,” Kimmel said, accurately describing the situation.

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“Mike Pence has been stumping for Kemp. Who had a big lead going into the voting today. Trump versus Pence? This is like Johnny versus Amber all over again. Nobody wins- you know. All you’re left with is poop in the bed.”

As we said, watch the whole thing at the top of the page.

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