Albert L. Ortega/Getty Images Kid Cudi
Kid Cudi revealed that he suffered a stroke in 2016, just two weeks after checking into rehab.
In a feature for Esquire magazine published on Wednesday, Kid Cudi, 38, opened up about a time in 2016 when he checked himself into rehab for "depression and suicidal urges." Two weeks into his stay, he suffered a stroke and was sent to the hospital.
His speech and physical ability to move took a decline, and as the "Stars In The Sky" rapper put it, "Everything was f---ed." After being in physical rehab for the following months, his recovery took a turn for the better when he read alongside Michael Cera for Broadway's Lobby Hero.
Though he didn't get the part, Kid Cudi explained why the experience ultimately helped him.
"I proved to myself that I could do it," he said. "I needed that at the time. I was happy. Like, damn, my brain is still strong. I didn't lose something in that s--- that happened."
Now, Kid Cudi hopes to help others with his conscious music, as he declared, "I'm ready to wear those shoes and be a role model."
When asked if being a face of mental health awareness bothered him, Kid Cudi said, "It's a lot of pressure, but it keeps me alive. So I'll take it. It doesn't stress me out. It keeps me thinking, 'Nah, Scott. You gotta be here. Let old age take you out.' "
This isn't the first time Kid Cudi has been open about his mental health journey.
In 2020, the "Day N Nite" lyricist spoke about his battle with depression and anxiety.
"When we're young, we face a lot of pressure to do things that harm us. We pretend to be happy when there's a raging violent storm inside of our heart," Kid Cudi said. "Once it was difficult for me to find the words. Anxiety and depression ruled my life for as long as I could remember. I was scared, I was sad, I felt like a damaged human swimming in a pool of emotions."
"I knew I deserved peace and to be happy, but I didn't know how," he shared. "It took me a while to get to this place of commitment, to say I'm gonna get through this. To know that we can take our pain and turn it into something."
"I turn my pain into music," Kid Cudi said. "And my music is how I am different. And my difference is my power."
If you or someone you know is considering suicide, please contact the 988 Suicide and Crisis Lifeline by dialing 988, text "STRENGTH" to the Crisis Text Line at 741741 or go to 988lifeline.org.
If you or someone you know needs mental health help, text "STRENGTH" to the Crisis Text Line at 741-741 to be connected to a certified crisis counselor.