Jana Kramer Talks 'Healing' After Past Abusive Relationships: 'It's What I Thought I Deserved'

·3 min read
Jana Kramer
Jana Kramer

Gary Gershoff/Getty Images Jana Kramer

Jana Kramer is choosing to ignore the negative voices.

On Instagram Monday, the "Beautiful Lies" singer, 37, shared a powerful message about leaving abusive relationships and moving forward in healthy ways. She shared a pair of photos with the post, rewriting a mantra to read: "I'm not broken. I AM enough."

"The voices in my head… . I've been mentally, physically and emotionally abused in past relationships. I allowed certain behaviors to continue on because I actually believed the negative voices in my head that were spoken to me," she wrote, then sharing examples of the toxic comments: " 'No one will want you'. ... 'you're the problem'. ... 'I'm going to kill you'….. 'I barely pushed you, don't be so dramatic'… 'you bruise easily, I hardly touched you, you're crazy'… 'if you wore something sexier I would sleep with you'…. 'You are the common denominator.' "

"All the words, and abuse equaled, I'm not enough. And I'm not worthy of love," said Kramer.

"For years I've repeated patterns, fallen into the trap of believing those voices, hurting myself and hurting others because of my desire to be chosen, to be enough," the country singer continued. "And I've fallen for the same abuse in a relationship because it's what I thought I deserved."

Kramer concluded that everyone's "healing" is to "stop those negative voices." She wrote: "Now is the time to grow, learn, HEAL, and love ourselves. We are enough. You are enough. I am enough. 'I'm done with voices in my head.' "

"Let's choose to believe the positive voices," she added.

RELATED: Jana Kramer Says Her New Song 'Voices' Helped Her Realize She's 'Not Broken' After Divorce

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Kramer finalized her divorce from Mike Caussin in July. The exes share two kids, son Jace Joseph, 2½, and 5½-year-old daughter Jolie Rae.

Though Kramer did not specify which of her past partners she was referencing, she previously opened up to PEOPLE back in 2017 about her first husband, Michael Gambino, who regularly beat and choked her during most of their marriage. She explained what led her to do something that is not uncommon among abused women — stay in the toxic relationship.

"I was so ashamed," she said at the time, discussing for the first time her painful history of domestic abuse that ultimately landed Gambino in prison for attempted murder in 2005. He was convicted of attempted murder and sentenced to six years in prison. He was released in 2010 and died by suicide two years later.

RELATED VIDEO: Jana Kramer Says It Was 'Hard' to See Ex Mike Caussin 'Flirt with Other Girls' During a Night Out

"I literally walked around on eggshells, terrified to tell anybody, because I was so ashamed of the situation I had put myself in. I was like I put myself in this and now I have to figure out how to get out of it, or stay in it and make it better," she added.

"All I've ever wanted is to be loved, to love someone and to have a family," said Kramer at the time. "I don't have everything figured out obviously, but I feel like I'm in a place where I don't have to be ashamed. I don't want to play the victim. Even though my past isn't pretty, it's shaped me into the person I am today, and now I want to help people. I want to help women out of bad situations."

If you are experiencing domestic violence, call the National Domestic Violence Hotline at 1-800-799-7233, or go to thehotline.org. All calls are toll-free and confidential. The hotline is available 24/7 in more than 170 languages.

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