Jade Roper Tolbert on Overcoming 'Pressure' to Be Perfect: 'I'm Afraid to Disappoint My Children'

Benjamin VanHoose
·2 min read

Jade Roper Tolbert is working on allowing herself to make mistakes.

The Mommies Tell All podcast co-host, 34, opens up to Mini Magazine for the Spring 2021 issue about placing "pressure" on herself to be the perfect mom, and how she's trying to rewire her thought patterns to be more forgiving toward herself. Roper Tolbert shares three kids with husband Tanner Tolbert: daughter Emerson "Emmy" Avery, 3, plus sons Brooks Easton, 20 months, and Reed Harrison, whom they welcomed in November.

"One of the biggest challenges I struggle with is wanting to do everything perfectly. I put a lot of pressure on myself," she admits. "I'm afraid to disappoint my children, but have learned sometimes it's okay to disappoint because it helps build their resiliency. I'm also learning how important it is to 'put your oxygen mask on first.' When I step back and take care of myself and fill my cup first, it helps me be a more present parent."

The Bachelor in Paradise alum says motherhood has "challenged me, humbled me, and brought me the greatest joy and unconditional love." Her advice to new parents is to "stand in your power, be kind [and] make mistakes."

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Kimberly Genevieve/Mini Magazine

Kimberly Genevieve/Mini Magazine

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Kimberly Genevieve/Mini Magazine

Roper Tolbert adds that the most important thing about raising her three children is making sure they "feel fully loved and accepted to be their truest self; that they have the courage to chase their dreams and have the compassion to love all."

Speaking with PEOPLE last month, Roper Tolbert discussed the highs and lows of postpartum life, recalling the "transformational" time after welcoming each of her babies.

"It's okay not to be okay. We need to normalize the feelings that we feel postpartum," she said at the time. "What you're feeling isn't something that's too big that you can't get help for it."

Kimberly Genevieve/Mini Magazine

RELATED: Jade Roper Tolbert Wants to 'Normalize the Feelings' of Postpartum: 'Recognize That We Are Human'

Kimberly Genevieve/Mini Magazine

The reality star continued, "I think we're expected, or we put this pressure on ourselves, to be supermoms. ... It's not like that. We're fumbling through it and learning as we go, just as our babies are, and we need to recognize that we are human. We can't do it all, and there is help out there."

"When a baby is born, a mother is born too," added Roper Tolbert. "It's something that nobody talks about, so I want the world to hear about it and think about it."