Is 'Furious 7' the Baldest Movie Ever Made?

Kevin Polowy
·Senior Correspondent, Yahoo Entertainment
Updated
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While we were as impressed as the next guy by that sportscar flying out of one skyscraper and into another during Sunday’s Super Bowl TV spot for Furious 7,there was another absurdity that struck us: In addition to being one of the most badass movie franchises in existence, Fast and Furious may now be the baldest, too. Aside from series regulars Vin Diesel, Dwayne Johnson, and Tyrese, we’ve now got a baddie played by Jason Statham, who we all know is far too tough for hair. (You know why nobody saw Revolver? It’s because nobody wants to see Jason Statham with hair.) It got us thinking: Bruce Willis is perfect for Furious 8. Also, what are the baldest movies out there? Here are six.

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THX 1138 (1971)
Just how bald is the dystopian film most famous for being the sci-fi flick George Lucas made before Star Wars? Prior to the release of 1971 movie, Lucas and co-producer Francis Ford Coppola released a behind-the-scenes short called Bald: The Making of THX 1138 that showed stars like Robert Duvall and Donald Pleasence getting their heads shaved for the film. THX remains, to this day, the baldest movie of all time.

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The Expendables (2010)
Granted, there are something like 57 principal actors in Sylvester Stallone’s action series for the Viagra set, so of course there’s going to be a high bald factor. But there’s still an impressive quotient here that includes Bruce Willis, Jason Statham, Terry Crews, Randy Couture, and Steve Austin. Even the Expendables logo is bald.

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Alien 3 (1992)
Together, character actors Charles S. Dutton and Charles Dance have brought a hairless flair to well over 100 film and television projects. But what makes David Fincher’s Alien 3 truly a bald classic is the commitment of its leading lady, Sigourney Weaver, who shaved it all off for her third run as Ripley.

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The Matrix (1999)
It’s starting to seem like sci-fi movies hate hair. Here we have the noble baldie (Laurence Fishburne as Morpheus), the turncoat baldie (Joe Pantoliano as Cypher), and the hero Neo (Keanu Reeves), who is hair-free while sleeping away reality in his Matrix pod; plus, there’s our personal favorite: Spoon Boy.

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RED 2 (2013)
Bruce Willis and John Malkovich both bring a dynamic brand of baldness to any film they appear in. And while we also have a receding Anthony Hopkins here, you can tell how committed this sequel is to its chrome-domedness by its casting of several bald actors in supporting cop (see above) and/or henchman (see here) roles.

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The Coneheads (1993)
Dan Aykroyd and Jane Curtin may have lost a few points for not shaving their pates in real life. But other the hand, they wear giant bald cones on their heads, so that’ll suffice.

Photos: Universal, Warner Bros. (2), Lionsgate (2), Fox, Paramount

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