Gabrielle Union Talks Surrogacy, Forgiveness After Past Relationship 'Trauma'

·3 min read

Gabrielle Union opened up about her journey to motherhood, surrogacy and her relationship with her husband, Dwyane Wade, in an excerpt from her new memoir, “You Got Anything Stronger?”

The actor, who has shared about her fertility struggles and experiencing miscarriages, wrote in the selection published in Time magazine last week that she was told by a doctor in 2016 her best chance for a healthy baby would be via surrogacy.

She also noted that she had previously been diagnosed with adenomyosis, a condition that affects the uterus.

Union shared that she was not initially ready to pursue surrogacy and that she “instead chose to endure more IVF cycles and losses.”

She said at one point she considered undergoing a treatment that would have had intense side effects on her body and would have given her a 30% chance of bringing a baby to term, according to her doctor.

“It was something my husband said that changed my mind,” she wrote. “I told him I wanted to try the drug. Dwyane was quiet, then said, ‘You’ve done enough.’”

“I read those words now and hear them again,” she later continued. “I didn’t receive this as concern at the time. It sounded like an acknowledgment of failure. Because at that point I would have sold my soul to get out of the endless cycle of loss.”

Gabrielle Union and Dwyane Wade attend Paris Fashion Week in January 2020 in Paris. In an excerpt from Union's new memoir, she discusses struggles in their relationship. (Photo: Pascal Le Segretain via Getty Images)
Gabrielle Union and Dwyane Wade attend Paris Fashion Week in January 2020 in Paris. In an excerpt from Union's new memoir, she discusses struggles in their relationship. (Photo: Pascal Le Segretain via Getty Images)

Union eventually decided to pursue surrogacy and welcomed a baby girl, Kaavia James, in November 2018.

“We are sleepless and delirious but so excited to share that our miracle baby arrived last night via surrogate and 11/7 will forever be etched in our hearts as the most loveliest of all the lovely days,” Union wrote when she announced the birth on Instagram.

Elsewhere in her essay in Time, Union wrote about past struggles in her relationship with Wade, who welcomed a baby, Xavier, with another woman before they were married.

“In 2013, before we were married, Dwyane had a baby with another woman,” she wrote. “It should go without saying that we were not in a good place at the time that child was conceived. But we were doing much better when he finally told me about the pregnancy.”

“To say I was devastated is to pick a word on a low shelf for convenience,” she continued. “There are people ― strangers I will never meet ― who have been upset that I have not previously talked about that trauma. I have not had words, and even after untold amounts of therapy I am not sure I have them.”

Union later said that Wade worked every day for her forgiveness and that she had “chosen to do so.” (Read the entire excerpt at Time magazine.)

Wade and Union wed in 2014. In addition to Xavier, the retired NBA star has son Zaire and daughter Zaya. The couple also parent Wade’s nephew Dahveon Morris.

The couple often publicly discuss the challenges and joys of parenthood.

Wade told People in April that he and Union allow their children to be their “true selves.”

“We don’t have to worry about them conforming with anything or anyone,” he continued. “Why wouldn’t we push our kids to be their authentic selves?”

The couple often celebrate their 2-year-old daughter Kaavia, who they lovingly refer to as a “shady baby,” for her witty and unapologetic personality.

“Shade is her super power because when Kaavia gives you a look, it’s either you’re not respecting her boundaries or something is happening that she doesn’t like,” Union told People.

This article originally appeared on HuffPost and has been updated.

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