Emma Watson: I Was Terrified Of My Life As A Child Star
Emma Watson has admitted that she was terrified of her life as a child star.
She also added that retreating from the public gaze by enrolling at Brown University in the US following a lengthy stint in the ‘Harry Potter’ movies was the best thing she ever did.
“The level of questioning I was under, coming at such a young age. People asking me ‘What do you think of this? Who are you, who are you, who are you?’” the 25-year-old actress told Porter magazine.
“I felt so inadequate because I just didn’t have answers yet. I had so many friends who had a clear sense of self.
“Who knew that they liked certain things, like the smell of grass, or what their favourite colour was. I envied those girls because I was so unsure of myself.
“I questioned everything. I was terrified by the level of interest in me.”
She enrolled at the Ivy League college Brown in 2009, following 'Harry Potter and the Half Blood Prince’, but before the final two movies in the series, the 'Deathly Hallows’ films.
“There were times when it felt very lonely, moving to the other side of the world, to where I had no support, when I was on the side of buses everywhere,” she said.
“But I’m so glad I did, it was the best thing I could have done, putting myself in that furnace. It gave me this place of refuge, this space where I could negotiate for myself, and time to figure out who I was.
“I’d spent more than half of my life pretending to be someone else. While my contemporaries were dying their hair and figuring out who they were, I was figuring out who Hermione was and how best to portray her.
“I spent most of my time trying to convince everyone I was incredibly boring because I needed privacy and a minute to figure myself out.
“I used to have to go numb and close myself off, for example on the red carpet, just to get through it.”
Now, however, she says that it was all worth it.
“Now at 25 for the first time in my life I feel like I have a sense of self that I’m comfortable with,” she continued.
“I actually do have things that I want to say and I want to be my most authentic self. I don’t want there to be a big separation between the public and the private person.
“It’s definitely the harder road to tread, but without a doubt, ultimately the most rewarding.”
Watson has made a name for herself in recent years for her work in the area of gender equality, and promoting education for girls, visiting countries like Bangladesh and Zambia.
She was watched by millions around the world in 2014, delivering a speech for the campaign HeForShe at the UN, and has also visited Uruguay as a UN Women Goodwill Ambassador.
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Image credits: AFP/Warner Bros/Rex Features
