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Durham school board’s LGBTQ-friendly ‘Gender Support’ policy sparks controversy

Seth Van Horn said he was scared to death when his child came out.

The Durham parent rattled off disturbing statistics to the Board of Education: transgender people are four times more likely to be victims of violent crime; 42% of trans youth told to hide their identity consider suicide; 15% attempt suicide.

“So what’s a dad going to do?” Van Horn said, raising his hands with a pained expression. “Either you’re the one telling the kid to hide and hurt themself or you’re putting them out there in the world where others are going to hurt them.”

Van Horn said there was another important statistic to consider — research in the Journal of Adolescent Heath that predicts a 56% reduction in suicidal behavior for every environment in which a child’s chosen name is affirmed.

“We can either be the ones telling children, ‘Don’t ask questions,’” he said. “Or we can be the ones saying we’re here to support you.”

The board was considering adding a “Gender Support” policy Thursday night after months of urging from parents, students and staff.

Parade-goers wave flags and cheer during the Durham Pride parade Saturday morning Sept. 28, 2019.
Parade-goers wave flags and cheer during the Durham Pride parade Saturday morning Sept. 28, 2019.

The policy, adopted unanimously, is a copy of one adopted in Orange County in 2020.

It adds to the district’s discrimination protections by emphasizing ways to support transgender and non-binary students, such as by respecting their chosen names and pronouns and honoring wishes not to discuss a child’s gender identity with their parents.

Hannah Donahue, a school nurse, said better training is urgently needed.

“I’ve seen LGBTQ and gender-diverse students bullied. They’ve been pushed, shoved and had crude names yelled at them. I’ve seen administrators turn a blind eye to this behavior. I’ve seen students crying in my office because their teacher called home and mistakenly gendered them, outing them to their family who is transphobic,” Donahue said.

LGBTQ policy criticized by Republican Party

LGBTQ inclusion in American schools has become a political flashpoint in recent years, including in North Carolina.

Even deeply blue Durham was not immune from conflict.

“You’re asking Christian teachers to wink when you have homosexual boys who want to go into the girl’s room because they want to change there,” Victoria Peterson said, continuing to speak so long beyond the 90 allotted seconds she was nearly escorted out by deputies.

The Durham GOP called on its members to show up at the meeting.

“Our religious liberties are on the line, and it’s not time to sit on the sidelines,” the party said in a Monday email.

Durham Public Schools will take three classrooms to remote learning after two confirmed students cases of COVID-19.
Durham Public Schools will take three classrooms to remote learning after two confirmed students cases of COVID-19.

Courtney Geels, a Republican recently defeated in a bid for U.S. Congress, said the policy was too vague in places.

“Who is the one who is deciding what the maturity of that child is?” she asked. “I do think you should add in there that the parent would have to be part of that support system if they are under the age of 18.”

Those against the policy were outnumbered nearly three to one.

Nate Topham said neither he nor his two children were members of the LGBTQ community.

“But that doesn’t matter,” Topham said. “This still is incredibly important in my house, because in order for my kids to be good allies to this community, they can’t just hear it at home. They have to hear and see it modeled by the adults they spend the other half of their waking life with.”

Task force, training to come

The Rainbow Collective for Change, a grassroots initiative led by Anne Sutkowi-Hemstreet, first began petitioning the board for change in April.

“Enough is enough,” she said Thursday night.

Freddy Perkins, program director for Durham’s LGBTQ Youth Center, said the policy was the bare minimum.

“These students have said, ‘We don’t have safe spaces,’” Perkins said, wearing a Stonewall T-shirt. “We want kids to be kids. There should be policies in place that allow for that.”

The Durham Public Schools central office building on Cleveland Street, photographed on Tuesday, Apr. 20, 2021, in Durham, N.C.
The Durham Public Schools central office building on Cleveland Street, photographed on Tuesday, Apr. 20, 2021, in Durham, N.C.

Abby Bender said she was the parent of a non-binary DPS student.

“My child and their teacher have been misgendered multiple times, even in front of the principal and vice principal, without correction,” Bender said. “DPS currently have people in charge of our children’s schools that are more concerned with the discomfort of straight, often religious cisgender adults over the safety of our queer children.”

The board, which doesn’t meet again until 2023, is developing training and assembling a task force to refine the policy if needed.

Board members said they understood the need to act urgently, voting to waive the second reading traditionally held for new policies.

“So when we vote this through right now, this becomes policy tonight,” Vice Chair Matt Sears said.