Don’t be a Double-Double dimwit on the road when Boise’s first In-N-Out opens | Opinion

Talk about a feeding frenzy.

Traffic around the new In-N-Out Burger at The Village in Meridian is expected to be crazy on opening day Tuesday. At least three years in the waiting, the Treasure Valley’s first In-N-Out is scheduled to open at 10:30 a.m. at the corner of Fairview Avenue and Eagle Road, one of the busiest intersections in the state.

Opening day promises to be, at best, a traffic nightmare, or, at worst, a dangerous situation.

Do you really have to be there right when it opens?

Even worse, this is peak holiday shopping season, making Eagle Road and the area around The Village even busier. Adding Boise’s most anticipated opening day ever on top of an already bustling shopping area is a recipe for disaster.

In-N-Out could have at least waited another month until after the Christmas shopping season was over. The location probably would still be a madhouse on Jan. 12, but perhaps not quite as bad. And I’m sure In-N-Out didn’t want to lose out on millions of dollars of potential revenue for the next month.

But maybe you don’t have to be there right on opening day.

A traffic plan for In-N-Out Burger’s opening was included in a Village at Meridian memo to its tenants and businesses.
A traffic plan for In-N-Out Burger’s opening was included in a Village at Meridian memo to its tenants and businesses.

In-N-Out said it’s bringing in 200 “All Stars” just to help with traffic, according to a previous Statesman story, and has come up with a labyrinthine plan to wind vehicles through the parking lots at The Village and stage and stack cars in unused dirt lots before cars get to that promised land of the In-N-Out drive-thru window.

Treasure Valley residents have been champing at the bit for years for In-N-Out to open a local restaurant. Since you’ve waited this long, surely you can wait another day or two.

Look, I get it. Some of you (inexplicably) think In-N-Out is the greatest burger ever introduced to mankind. It’s a little bit like a cult, and people in a cult will do extraordinary things for inexplicable reasons.

Personally, I think In-N-Out is just OK, certainly not worth sitting in a line for a couple of hours to get one. It’s on par with Shake Shack or Five Guys, establishments for which I likewise would not sit in line for hours.

If you wait a few days, you’ll probably be able to get in and out more quickly and have just a regular burger-eating experience, which in reality, is what In-N-Out is: a regular burger-eating experience.

But if you must go, put some Christmas music on the radio, go to your happy place and try not to cause a road rage situation.

After all, there’s no need to go animal-style over a burger and fries.