Doctors Assess Injuries Of Home Alone’s Wet Bandits And It’s Not Pretty

Ben Arnold

Daniel Stern and Joe Pesci - aka The Wet Bandits - took quite a pounding in ‘Home Alone’, right?

Well here some medical professionals discuss the real-life implications of a run-in with cinema’s favourite 8-year-old burglar torturer Kevin McCallister.

And it’s enough to make you wince.

That BB gun to the groin? We’re talking 'serious genital trauma, maybe even a rupture’. Jeez.

The remedy? Bed rest, ice, maybe a bag of peas. Hopefully no stitches.

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Referring to Daniel Stern’s agonising spill down the basement stairs, one of the doctors tells how 'you don’t get up from a fall like that’.

So we’re talking kidney damage, potential bladder issues, bust ribs, pulmonary contusions and splenic lacerations.

“Peeing and pooping from bags, pushed around in wheel chairs in some sort of chronic care facility,” adds another.

And that blow torch to the scalp? That’s not going to end well at all.

image

“We’re talking second, third degree burns…. blistering,” says one Doc.

Plus poor Joe’s beanie would melt to his head, resulting in peeling skin, possibly exposing the bone on the skull.

Shudder.

Put like that, maybe Kevin’s not all that cute and loveable after all.

Read more
What really happened to Macaulay Culkin’s career?
What happened to the kids from Home Alone?
10 things you never knew about Toy Story

Image credit: 20th Century Fox

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