Count Binface or Laurence Fox? Only one can finish last – do the right thing

As the journalist who gave Count Binface his first, and so far only, policy grilling and “broadcast” interview (it’s here), I developed a grudging respect for my interlocutor, rather like, I imagine, David Frost did with Richard Nixon.

So I was especially pleased to see this warrior from the Sigma Quadrant running neck and neck in the race for Mayor of London with two other fringe candidates, the misguided actor Laurence “Lozano” Fox and Peter Gammons of UKIP: all are on 1 per cent in the polls.

Fox is protesting being denied his political freedom by, erm, standing in a public election, while Gammons luxuriates in a range of merch with the undeniably catchy, and accurate, slogan: “GAMMONS FOR LONDON”.

They undoubtedly add to the gaiety of the contest. As things stand, Sadiq Khan (Labour) will stroll it, enjoying 41 per cent support, well ahead of the Conservative candidate Shaun Bailey (28 per cent). It would mean a bigger margin of victory, if sustained, than his predecessor, Boris Johnson (the most successful joke candidate in history) achieved.

Like football’s Premier League, where the race to win is effectively over, with Manchester City running away with it, the interest is now at the other end, and Binface, Gammons and Fox are indeed the Fulham FC, West Bromwich Albion and Sheffield United of the capital’s political league. Can Count Binface vanquish Lozza and the Gammonites, Star Wars-style, and banish them forever to the Phantom Zone (aka Essex)?

It could happen. Binface managed, as he likes to point out, to have a crafty 69 with Johnson at the Uxbridge Leisure Centre at the last election, and he is sure to get more than 69 votes this time round. Indeed he might well poll the largest number of votes ever for a cheaply-costumed, publicity-seeking intergalactic personality at any British election.

He needs Londoners to cast their first vote – where you vote with your heart – for him, safe in the knowledge that they can vote for someone else with their second vote. It would surely be welcome to see a humanoid with a kitchen bin on his head push back the sinister forces of reaction with nothing more than a pledge to bring back Ceefax and to move the hand dryer in the gents at the Crown & Treaty pub, Uxbridge, to a more sensible position.

Make your vote “Count”, make Lozza and the Gammons history, and let’s get Binface done!

Read More

YouTuber Niko Omilana in fifth place for Mayor of London

The Lobbying Act is as leaky as a sieve – this is how to stop Whitehall ‘sleaze’

Move past Earth Day symbolism and far-off promises and make emissions cuts now