Conference play has started, and the College Football Report Card is chugging right along to bring you the week’s best plays and questionable decisions.
The same thing goes for grading as last season. High marks will be only for the spectacular, and failing grades have no chance of being reversed.
The highest grades last week went to the suddenly resurgent Kansas Jayhawks and low scores went to ESPN for their Aaron Judge cut-ins and Missouri, which literally dropped the ball in an overtime loss to Auburn.
Here is the Week 5 analysis of how fans, teams, players and coaches fared:
Sometimes we are so invested in our daily lives and jobs that we may have no clue about some things most of the world is aware of.
That brings us to FOX play-by-play announcer Gus Johnson. Johnson was in the booth on Saturday calling the Michigan-Iowa game and the subject of TikTok came up during the second quarter.
Now, check out this exchange between sideline reporter Jenny Taft and Johnson in which Taft gives a thorough explanation of how one of the world’s biggest social media apps works.
— FOX College Football (@CFBONFOX) October 1, 2022
Taft: "What is TikTok? It’s what all the young guys are doing, all the kids, they love it. Quick videos, lots of dances. But it’s creative so it’s anything you want. If you like watching football, it’s going to tailor it so you always get football videos."
"I do have a TikTok. Gus, I'm probably going to get you on it later."
Johnson: "Do you have to pay for it?"
Taft: "No, no it's free!"
Johnson: "That means it's for me."
Well done, Gus. Well, done.
Johnson's announcing skills: A+; Johnson as a social media connoisseur: F
Frog stomping in Fort Worth
Oklahoma fans have seen this movie before — and all its sequels. The defense has let the Sooners down on more than a few occasions, and it bubbled over into a rout of epic proportions at the hands of TCU on Saturday.
The Horned Frogs didn’t mess around from the opening kickoff, scoring 27 points (more on that later) in the opening frame and never letting up.
To add insult to injury the person calling the plays for the TCU was offensive coordinator Garrett Riley, none other than the brother of USC coach Lincoln Riley, who left the Sooners high and dry by bolting out West for the fun and sun (and more money).
The social media gurus at TCU also got in on the fun as well, tweeting this beauty below, as Yankees slugger Aaron Judge aimed to break the American League record of 62 home runs while the Horned Frogs were running up and down the field on the Sooners.
— TCU Football (@TCUFootball) October 1, 2022
By the way, neither got to 62 as TCU scored 55 points while rolling up 668 yards of offense, and Judge walked twice, struck out twice and was hit by a pitch against the Baltimore Orioles.
The sprint to 62: A
Stats for you:
1 – Field goals made by Temple this season. The Owls were the last FBS team to make a successful one in 2022, sending one through the uprights Saturday against Memphis. It was their only points of the game.
4 - Touchdown receptions by East Carolina receiver C.J. Johnson against South Florida. Johnson had scoring catches of 60, 74, 14, and 9 yards as part of his seven-catch, 197-yard effort.
5 - Rushing touchdowns by Ohio State running back Miyan Williams in the Buckeyes' 49-10 rout of Rutgers. Williams finished with 189 yards on 21 carries.
27 – Points scored by TCU in the first quarter against Oklahoma, the most the Sooners have allowed in any quarter since 1956.
27:38 – Time of possession for Minnesota against Purdue. The Gophers had averaged 40:33 in its first four games this season.
37 – Clemson's winning streak at Memorial Stadium. The Tigers' last home loss was Nov. 12, 2016, a 43-42 setback to Pittsburgh. Clemson still went on to win the national title that season.
240 - Kent State became the first team in college football history to have a player run for at least 240 yards and a player to have 240 yards receiving in the same game. Wide receiver Dante Cephas caught 13 passes for 246 yards and running back Marquez Cooper rushed for 240 yards on 40 carries in the Golden Flashes 31-24 overtime win over Ohio. Kent State had 736 yards of total offense.
Best and worst of the week:
Catch of the year: My goodness, Jaivian Lofton.
— 247Sports (@247Sports) October 1, 2022
Kentucky quarterback Will Levis with the broken finger.
We’re No. 1: The digit edition: Incomplete
Fresno State's Nikko Remigio with a beauty of a return against UConn.
Slip 'N' Slide: A
— CBS Sports Network (@CBSSportsNet) October 1, 2022
Cosmo Cougar, the BYU mascot, is ready for the Special Forces.
Big Poppa Pump: automatic Ph.D.
Stupidity at its best in Oxford, Mississippi:
Hell, yeah! Damn right!
Hotty Toddy, Gosh Almighty,
Who The Hell Are We? Hey!
Flim Flam, Bim Bam
Ole Miss By Damn! pic.twitter.com/MZ6k46REMh
— Old Row Sports (@OldRowSports) October 1, 2022
Same Ole Mess: F
Coastal Carolina's CJ Beasley hurdled a man to score the game-winning touchdown.
And all angles/nat sound, because we can't get enough of it. pic.twitter.com/yYBTJ1IelB
— Chanticleer Sports Network (@CoastalCSN) October 2, 2022
Up and over FTW: A+
The Dog of the Week: Colorado at Arizona
The Buffaloes had the distinction of being one of two teams playing on Saturday that went winless in the first month of the season (Georgia State was the other). The pups had no trouble looking away from this one because of how truly putrid Colorado is — but also because the game was aired on the Pac-12 Network (good luck trying to find that station).
Let’s check in on Colorado’s conference rankings coming into the game: Scoring defense: Last. Passing defense: Last. Total defense: Last. Opponents' third down conversions: Last. Scoring offense: Last. Passing offense: Last. Total offense: Last. Offensive plays of 10+ yards: Last. Well, you get the picture. Snacks and treats all around for the pups who had to endure this one, a 43-20 Arizona victory.
Follow Scooby Axson on Twitter @scoobaxson.
This article originally appeared on USA TODAY: College football Week 5: TCU drubs Oklahoma; Gus Johnson learns TikTok