Stephen Colbert taped his Late Show monologue before polls closed in Pennsylvania on Tuesday. “By the time this airs, the victors will be celebrating and the losers will be saying they’re the victors,” he joked.
But that state’s highly contentious Republican Senate primary remained far too close to call, with David McCormick and Dr. Mehmet Oz in a tight race for first place and Kathy Barnette in distant third. Or as Colbert described it, a “battle royale” between “original recipe nutballs” and “extra crispy cuckoo cojones.”
“Of the three, Dr. Oz has the former president’s backing, and last night, he made sure to remind everyone of that,” Colbert said, before playing a clip of the candidate bragging on Hannity that Trump has called him both “smart” and “tough.”
“Because there’s nothing more impressive than being called smart by a man who stared directly into an eclipse,” the host joked.
With Barnette out for the count, it’s unlikely Colbert will get the chance to make any more jokes at her expense in the near future. So he spent a few minutes going after her for marching alongside the Proud Boys at the Jan. 6 insurrection.
“So she tried to overthrow an institution and now wants to work there?” he asked. “That’s like holding up a bank and saying, ‘Put the money in the bag! Also, this seems like a pretty good gig. Can I drop my résumé off with you guys? By the way, how often do these robberies happen? Because this seems kind of scary.’”