Karwai Tang/Getty Chrissy Teigen
Chrissy Teigen is getting real about how her body has changed since the loss of her son Jack.
"It's really weird when you lose a baby and your body gets paused in time. usually you'd gain your 'yumyums I'm praaaagnant!' weight, then put on the weight of your little bebe," she begins the lengthy post. "Then, ideally, you'd have your baby. And you would feed it from your boobs and your body would know to charge through and do what it does to get you back into fighting shape, whatever that may be, for however long it takes (F— a snap-back)…"
"But man. When you lose a baby halfway through, your body just pauses. It has nothing to do. No one to feed. And you're just … stuck. Stuck with saggy boobs that were prepping to be milk bags, a belly that was ready to bake," she continues. "I would be lying if I said this did not majorly suck. Not only are you ummmm extremely, diabolically sad at what could have been, but you have this daily reminder every time you look in the goddamn mirror."
"I don't really have a big ending or positive words lol," Teigen says, as she asks her followers not to "say nice things."
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"I know it's not everything and I know i'm suuuuuch a badass and blah blah blah I just thought I'd be emo for a minute ok! I love you. f— a scale!" she concludes the post.
Teigen and husband John Legend announced last September that they suffered the loss of their pregnancy with their third child. Teigen, who suffers from endometriosis, was previously put on bed rest and eventually hospitalized due to excessive bleeding.
The couple, who tied the knot in September 2013, also share daughter Luna Simone, 5, and son Miles Theodore, 3, both of whom they conceived via IVF.
"On this darkest of days, we will grieve, we will cry our eyes out. But we will hug and love each other harder and get through it," she wrote in September, announcing their loss.
The Sports Illustrated Swimsuit Issue model said in December that she would "never" be pregnant again. "Coming to terms with not being able to carry again is still really difficult for me because I feel so healthy. I'm like, why?" she said in March. "But then I think about it as my uterus is just not cooperating with me — and it's not a failure."