Ahh, the Major League Baseball offseason, a time for all of us to refresh our social media feeds for the latest trade rumors and free-agent gossip. A time for players to work on their golf game or update their training regimen. And, apparently, a time for the drug testers to show up at players’ houses looking for some blood and urine.
Tampa Bay Rays ace Chris Archer — all 195 pounds of him — got one such test this week and gave the world a fantastic response on Twitter afterward:
Got hit with a random BLOOD and URINE test for performance enhancers today. Y'all came to the wrong house. This is wild, free roaming, 100 percent grass fed, antibiotic & hormone free over here.
I ain't mad though, I want a clean sport
— Chris Archer (@ChrisArcher22) November 27, 2017
Grass-fed and hormone-free, eh, Chris? Those are the luxuries a big-league paycheck can provide. We’re surprised he didn’t throw out a Whole Foods receipt too.
Jokes aside, it’s great to see Archer have such a humorous approach to getting drug-tested and have such an admirable bottom line: He wants a clean sport just as much as fans do.
Oh, and fans of other teams are taking note. Archer — who has been mentioned in trade rumors for the better part of two years now — may very well wind up in the hot-stove gossip again this year. So that prompted one Dodgers fan to drop this jewel of a reply:
Have you tasted the grass at Dodger Stadium? I think you'd enjoy it.
— Chance Glasco (@ChanceGlasco) November 28, 2017
The Rays play on astroturf at Tropicana Field, you know.
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