Sorry, Ladies: There’s No Way Matt Bomer or Ian Somerhalder Will Do ‘Shades of Grey’

Breanne Heldman

It seems there's already trouble in paradise, and by "paradise" we mean the movie adaptation of E.L. James' "Fifty Shades of Grey," of course. Only weeks before filming was slated to start, a new writer was brought in to salvage polish the script just as the leading man made a hasty exit. Though Charlie Hunnam reportedly left due to "scheduling conflicts," we're pretty sure no one's buying that excuse. (It's not like his "Sons of Anarchy" commitment came out of nowhere.)

Some people are speculating that Hunnam got cold feet -- either because he didn't feel ready to shoulder a franchise or because he didn't want to star in a hot mess of what some call "mommy porn" -- but regardless of his motive, one thing is clear: The powers-that-be better find a new Christian Grey, stat.

Though we don't know who's going to fill these well-heeled shoes, we're confident we know who isn’t. And while we hate to be the bearers of bad news, there's no way fan favorites Ian Somerhalder or Matt Bomer will appear in the Red Room of Pain.

Before you tell us all the reasons one of them should get this role, here are the facts. First and foremost, both Somerhalder and Bomer star on hit shows that shoot even more episodes per year than "Sons of Anarchy." Since Universal (technically) got burned because of Hunnam's TV schedule, there's pretty much zero chance they would risk having the same thing happen by tapping another network mainstay. They're going to look for someone whose dance card is wide open for the next few months, and honestly, we don't blame them.

Next, while Somerhalder played coy when Andy Cohen asked him if he was indeed in the running for the part, the "Vampire Diaries" star also didn't seem too heartbroken when he wasn't cast. "I'm on a TV show that shoots 10 months a year," he quipped. "It's so funny, you read these blogs: 'Ian Somerhalder angry, livid he's not Christian Grey.' I mean, no, no, no, there's none of that."

For his part, Bomer seemed markedly less enthused than his fans about the possibility of joining the soft-core skin flick. After a Change.org petition garnered over 40,000 signatures arguing that Charlie Hunnam and Dakota Johnson should (and must!) be replaced with Matt Bomer and Alexis Bledel, the actor casually dismissed the movement.

"I'm so grateful for the fans and touched," he explained at "White Collar"'s season five premiere before adding, "I'm looking forward to seeing the movie with Charlie and Dakota."

In case that's not enough to convince fans he's out, however, yesterday a source close to Bomer confirmed to Yahoo Movies that the blue-eyed thesp has absolutely no interest in the role. As in, none. As in, it's not happening.

All is not lost, however, as there are plenty of other names circulating around Tinseltown as potential replacements for the sexy CEO. Alex Pettyfer, who made girls swoon in "Beastly" and "Magic Mike," might be a top contender. He has the looks, the fans, and no TV show to get in the way.

In addition, the latest reports mention Alexander Skarsgard possibly getting back into the mix, and Jamie Dornan "in talks" for the part.

Yes, Skarsgard is famous for "True Blood," but his taping schedule isn't nearly as packed as Somerhalder's or Bomer's, and, more importantly, he actually wants to take on Christian Grey. Way back when, he even declared that he was "born to play that part."

Dornan, meanwhile, has the sex appeal down (he's done underwear ads for Calvin Klein) and has his TV show out of the way (he played Sheriff Graham on Season One of ABC's "Once Upon a Time," but has since left the program).

Other names being tossed about: future "Divergent" heartthrob Theo James and "Magic City" alum Christian Cooke.

Josh Gad
Josh Gad

And last, but certainly not least, during an episode of "Drinking With the Stars," funnyman Josh Gad revealed that he'd be willing to fill this potential blockbuster's void.

"Now that Charlie Hunnam is out, I’m all in, baby," Gad joked. "I look really good in black leather, just for the record … I kind of resemble an orca, but I think in a good way."

Something tells us that after losing their leading man (amidst rumors he just wasn't into it), execs are looking for someone who's all in-- someone like Gad, but, you know, not Gad.

We'll have to wait and see who ultimately accepts the challenge of bringing billionaire Grey to the big screen, but with the start date looming, we shan't have to wait very long. Which is good, because all of this anticipation is making us kind of … anxious.

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