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Six surprising past projects of 2014 Oscar nominees

The Oscars are a celebration of serious movies, about serious people, made by serious actors and filmmakers. At least, that's what they want you to think.

What Hollywood stars and directors are really trying to do is to make you forget about their not-so-prestigious pasts. Everyone's got to start somewhere, and a some of those beginnings and early projects are not so great.

Best Actor nominee Christian Bale (“American Hustle”) co-starred in “Mio in the Land of Faraway” (1987)

Before “American Hustle,” before “Batman Begins,” before “American Psycho,” and even before his breakthrough in “Empire of the Sun,” a 12-year-old Christian Bale appeared in a movie called “Mio in the Land of Faraway” -- a bizarre but beloved children’s fantasy film produced by Norway, Sweden, and the Soviet Union with music by ABBA.

The film follows an orphan named Mio as he is transported from dreary Stockholm to the magical Land of Faraway. Bale plays Mio’s faithful companion Jum-Jum (no, we’re not making that up). With the kingdom under threat, the two boys embark on a journey to the Land Outside where they confront the evil knight Kato (played by the legendary Christopher Lee). If it weren't so obscure, “Mio in the Land of Faraway” could easily be considered alongside fantasy classics like "The Neverending Story" and "Labyrinth." As it stands, it's just a European oddity that happens to feature an early performance from one of the world's most talented actors.

Best Supporting Actor nominee Jared Leto (“Dallas Buyers Club”) starred in “Urban Legend” (1998)

It seems that every great actor has a horror movie somewhere in their past. Then there’s Jared Leto. The “Dallas Buyers Club” star shot to fame as Jordan Catalano on the TV series “My So-Called Life” and has mostly been known for his 30 Seconds to Mars music career in the intervening years.

But before standout roles in movies like “American Psycho” and “Requiem for a Dream,” Leto headlined the lamentable teen horror flick “Urban Legend.” Part of the horror movie resurgence of the late 1990s, “Urban Legend's” only real distinction is that it wasn’t “Scream,” “I Know What You Did Last Summer,” “Final Destination.” Ah, memories.

Best Adapted Screenplay nominee John Ridley (“12 Years a Slave”) wrote "Undercover Brother" (2002)

“12 Years a Slave” screenwriter John Ridley has had an extremely varied Hollywood career. From penning Oliver Stone’s extremely underrated “U-Turn” and David O. Russell’s Gulf War heist movie “Three Kings,” to writing the George Lucas-produced Tuskegee airmen drama “Red Tails” and his own Jimi Hendrix biopic “All is By My Side,” Ridley has been all over the map.

So it shouldn’t be a complete surprise then that Ridley also wrote 2002’s “Undercover Brother,” a hilarious love letter to the blaxploitation and spy movie genres starring Eddie Griffin, Chris Kattan, Denise Richards, Neil Patrick Harris, and Dave Chappelle. Ridley has considerable storytelling range -- “Undercover Brother” to “12 Years a Slave” in a little over a decade? That jump alone deserves an award.

Best Actress nominee Sandra Bullock (“Gravity”) starred in “Fire on the Amazon”

The low-budget 1993 film “Fire on the Amazon” would be just another movie in a DVD bargain bin if not for the presence of future Oscar-winning actress Sandra Bullock. We’ll spare you the plot details and let the trailer above do the talking. Even by early '90s, B-movie standards, “Fire on the Amazon” is bad, but gained some notoriety after Bullock hit it big because it happens to feature the only nude scene of her career.

Don’t get too excited, though. Bullock sported strategically placed duct tape during said scene in order to preserve her dignity -- however, no amount of duct tape can undo a stinker like “Fire on the Amazon.”

Best Actor nominee Bruce Dern (“Nebraska”) starred in “Silent Running”

Perhaps the only major example of hippie science fiction, 1972’s “Silent Running” is a conceptually interesting but deeply flawed film that hasn’t aged terribly well in the decades since it was first released.

“Nebraska” star Bruce Dern plays Freeman Lowell, a space freighter crew member working in the future where virtually all plant life on Earth is extinct. The ship carries some of the last living plant and animal specimens in enormous glass bio-domes, and it’s Lowell’s job is to care for them. When orders come down to jettison and destroy the domes, Lowell isn’t having any of this and, with the help of two adorable robots, proceeds to straight-up murder his crewmates in order to save the ship’s precious cargo. Not cool, man.

Brad Pitt (producer of Best Picture nominee “12 Years a Slave”) starred in “Cool World” (1992)

Remember that time Brad Pitt played a detective stuck in a world full of cartoons? No, we’re not talking about “Who Framed Roger Rabbit?” We’re talking about legendary animator Ralph Bakshi’s disastrous magnum opus “Cool World.”

The film stars Gabriel Byrne as famous cartoonist Jack Deebs (who becomes trapped in his most famous creation, Cool World) and Kim Basinger as his ‘toon love interest Holli Would. “Cool World” also happens to feature Pitt in one of his first big roles as flesh-and-blood CWPD detective Frank Harris. It’s not a good movie by any stretch, but “Cool World” is safely one of the strangest and unique films to come out of the 1990s.

So, if you see any of the previously mentioned people on stage come Oscar night, just remember these forgettable, regrettable, and sometimes downright bad movies. Earning that coveted gold statue is a tremendous honour, but all the trophies in the world can't erase past mistakes or humble beginnings.

The 86th Annual Academy Awards take place on March 2, 2014.