Advertisement

Darren Aronofsky Is Lining Up All the Animals Two by Two

What, no scarf? Jemal Countess/Getty Images
What, no scarf? Jemal Countess/Getty Images

Darren Aronofsky, as fiercely independent a filmmaker as you will ever find in America, is suddenly an extremely wealthy man, thanks to the shocking success of "Black Swan." (That movie made almost $316 million worldwide.) That's, as they say, "eff you money," which is one of the reasons Aronofsky decided he didn't have to do "The Wolverine" after all. He can go back to his passion projects, one in particular, that he better make now. He'll never have a better chance.

Deadline reports that Aronofsky has written a script and actively wants to make "Noah's Ark," an "edgy re-telling" of the Biblical story. This has long been Aronofsky's passion project -- well, one of this passion projects -- beginning with, as Slashfilm points out, a poem he wrote in the seventh grade that "won awards." (By "award," we assume they mean "ribbons" or "a certificate.")

Aronofsky will have to go all in on this project, because we can't think of many movies that would be more risky for a studio. Not only is he budgeting the film at $140 million, he'd also (presumably) shooting it on water, which, as James Cameron and Steven Spielberg and Kevin Reynolds will tell you, is an open invitation to go screaming past your budget. Also, it's not exactly going to be an easy sell: We're talking about a Biblical story, one that has been told to us all growing up with cute pairings of giraffes and monkeys, that he wants to make a hard-R. Slashfilm dug up this old quote from Aronofsky about the project:

[He was the] first environmentalist. [The] first person to plant
vineyards, drink wine and get drunk. I was stunned going back and
realizing how dirty some of those stories are. They're not PG in any
way. They're all about sleeping with your brother's sister who gives you
a child who you don't know. That kind of stuff got censored out of our
religious upbringing.

So, $140 million (at least), with a Biblical storyline that'll shock with its hard-R nature, a lifelong dream project who doesn't always have the best track record with lifelong dream projects. We cannot wait to watch this movie, but we wouldn't invest a dime in this thing. You'd be better off with Groupon. (OK, let's not talk crazy.)

Darren Aronofsky Shops Noah's Ark Epic [Deadline]
Darren Aronofsky May Finally Get to Make 'Noah'
[/film]