‘Belt of Truth’ won’t hold up SC Republican’s burning pants about election loss

·4 min read
Provided by Lauren Martel

It’s funniest to read the latest email sent to the media by losing attorney general candidate Lauren Martel from the end to the beginning.

At the bottom of the June 20 email is an illustration that looks like something a bored middle school student in the 1980s would have drawn.

“Put on the full Armor of God,” the email reads, quoting from the apostle Paul’s letter to the Ephesians. Below the text is an image of a knight, wielding a sword and a shield atop a rock that’s surrounded by fire. I learned that the “Armor of Guard” description found in Ephesians begins with the “Belt of Truth.”

Presumably Martel included this imagery in her news release to say she wears the “Armor of God” and its accessories daily.

Martel, a Bluffton lawyer and Republican who wanted to be the state’s top prosecutor but lost in the June 14 primary, must have left her “Belt of Truth” in the closet before she drafted the rest of the email.

Everything above the poorly rendered knight is equally as pedantic and filled with unsubstantiated claims about South Carolina’s ability to have a fair election.

As a non-Christian, I’ll put it this way — Martel is bearing false witness about the primary election. Not even the “Belt of Truth” could hold up her burning pants.

So as not to dull the wits of readers, I’ll summarize the body of Martel’s claim in her email like this:

Boohoo. Election not fair. I lost. Sob sob. Whine whine.

Here is one sentence I have to offend you with:

“I have received so many reports of irregularities in the June 14 Primary that I am compelled to formally bring these issues to the attention of the SC Republican Party.”

She stuck to that stance in a recent called with me.

“I did play competitive college tennis so I know what good sportsmanship is in winning and losing,” Martell said. “This further investigation on my part is simply due diligence due to numerous concerns that have been raised.”

Where is the provable evidence of these “many” irregularities and “numerous concerns,” Esquire Martel? I’ll give the readers a clue. It doesn’t exist.

Martel goes on for far too many words and with some bonkers assertions to claim South Carolina’s primary was a sham.

Dead people and out-of-staters on dated rolls could have cast ballots for her opponent. “Phantom voters” could have been created by artificial intelligence to vote against her. Ballots were processed by foreign developed machinery and counted in Barcelona, Spain.

Did those ballots get some nice tapas while they were vacationing? Jokes aside, my eyes couldn’t roll any further when I read Martel’s claims.

To give some perspective on Martel, her campaign platform was anti-vaccination and anti-mask along with pro-Ivermectin, pro-hydroxychloroquine, all portrayed as issues of “medical freedom.” Of course, this completely denigrates actual concerns of doctor-patient relationships.

Going a littler further up in her email, Martel takes particular umbrage with poll managers allegedly not swearing a constitutional oath. Also, if you can believe it, she asserts poll workers weren’t properly upholding voter ID laws, which Martel’s fellow Republicans in the General Assembly pushed through a few years ago to improve election security. What a twist.

Martel lost the primary by nearly 32 percentage points — and by a margin of almost 110,000 votes — to incumbent Alan Wilson.

I’ll give Martel that there might have been some microscopic irregularities, like delays in counting votes or some minor voting machine nuisances. But such issues weren’t going to change the election’s outcome — certainly not one with a margin of 110,000 votes.

Reporters in South Carolina have little to no time on these claims because the falsehoods are baseless crap. The state election commission certified the vote, and Martel’s own party, which has been known to entertain election fraud claims in the past, wouldn’t “voided the 2022 primary,” she admitted in a social media post.

Near the beginning of Martel’s email, she gives insight into what I believe is her real gripe. She wasn’t allowed to speak as long as she wanted at “Republican clubs” leading up to the primary.

Martel should admit she’s a sore loser who’s mad because the Republicans voted to keep her out of the clubhouse.

She should have dropped all the insane claims and worn the “Belt of Truth.”

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