desi perkins/ tiktok
Desi Perkins is getting candid about her postpartum struggles.
On Wednesday, the beauty influencer - who welcomed her first child, son Ocean, with husband Steven Perkins in October 2020 - shared a TikTok video revealing the aftermath of postpartum-induced hair loss: fringe-like baby bangs.
"If anyone ever wondered what postpartum hair loss and re-growth looked like, hello! What do I do with this?" Perkins quipped as she showed off the inch-long baby hairs.
The overgrown fringe is hard to disguise (even for an expert hairstylist like Perkins). "My options right now are headband and/or some serious edge design work," the influencer said. "Some swirls, some swoops."
She then reappeared on camera to unveil the finished look: a slicked back high bun that she achieved using cult favorite Got2b Glued strong hold hair gel.
"Women really can't catch a break huh," one person wrote in the comment section. "It's wild," Perkins replied.
A second TikTok user wrote "I'm so scared of this," to which the beauty guru responded, "I was ready for it. I thought 'maybe it won't happen to me' then 4-5 months postpartum I noticed it. I'm happy it's at least growing back."
desi perkins/ instagram
This is not the first time Perkins has opened up about the highs and lows of motherhood. Earlier this year, the influencer - who launched DEZI SKIN in April - told PEOPLE that she switched from breastfeeding to formula after an emotional doctor's appointment.
"I had to start supplementing formula because I wasn't actually creating enough breast milk, and that's so mentally frustrating," Perkins said. "That's really mentally challenging, breastfeeding is. So I've now started to supplement formula ... and I think there's no shame in that."
"I was really sad," the new mom recalled. "I remember crying in the office when the doctor told me [Ocean] was losing weight, and I just died. I was like, 'Oh my gosh, I'm going to cry. I'm so embarrassed.' And it was hard at first knowing that I had to do that because I always really wanted to breastfeed. But then, ultimately, he started to gain his weight back, and I was like, 'That's what matters. That's what's important: healthy and happy.' "
Perkins explained that the "hardest part about motherhood" so far is that she "felt reborn myself."
"I honestly felt like I was reborn as a totally different person, and that's something that I honestly didn't expect. I had no idea," she said. "It's such a drastic change that you go through, essentially overnight. And I think the hardest part for me has been really taking the person who I used to be and the person I am now and then meeting myself in the middle."
Continued Perkins, "It's just really finding myself in the whole motherhood situation. Because you don't have as much time for yourself, and especially if you're exclusively breastfeeding. That was really difficult for me because I was just constantly breastfeeding. I just felt like I didn't really have time for myself or anything like that."
"That was really the hardest part," she added, "just finding my identity as a mom and figuring out who that was."