Yahoo Movies The Bachelor recap: Zach breaks his own 'no sex' rule in the Fantasy Suites
This week on The Bachelor, Zach's best-laid plans not to get laid during Fantasy Suites week went predictably awry — but he still managed to choose his final two.
Let's recap!
The final leg of Zach's "journey" brings us to Krabi, Thailand, where Jesse Palmer has traded in his signature sweaters for a jaunty pink linen oxford. The host asks Zach if he's got PTSD about Fantasy Suites since that was the week his "relationship" with Rachel imploded on The Bachelorette. Zach says all he can really do is "trust the heart, trust the gut" while going into Fantasy Suites week, but he also has another guiding principle: "No sex."
Rose lovers, let us pause for a moment to enjoy Palmer's reaction to this bombshell.
ABC Palmer is shook
The host recovers nicely, though. "Okay," he says. "What brought you to that decision?" Five words, pal: Sean "born-again virgin" Lowe. Zach explains that the former Bachelor "took a very similar approach" during his season and counseled him to do what feels "right" for him. Palmer's all, "Just between you, me, and the lamppost, bro, do you really think you're gonna be able to keep it in your pants?" (I'm paraphrasing.) The Bachelor is resolute, though he admits it'll be "really damn hard" to keep his "animalistic desire" in check. (Ewww.)
It'll be interesting to see how Ariel feels about Zach's "no sex" edict, especially because she — like many, many people — believes that physical intimacy is "a big part" of a relationship.
But there'll be plenty of time to have that super fun conversation. First up, Zach and Ariel take a Tuk Tuk into the city for a trip to a night market, where they sample some local delicacies.
ABC A protein pick-me-up
Grubs, intestines, seafood, pastries — they try it all. But Zach can barely keep his mind on the food. "When I kiss Ariel, my body just gets hot," he admits. "Oh my God, somebody turn on the AC!" Ariel is feeling equally randy. "Sparks are literally flying," she says with a giggle.
ABC Zach and Ariel
Meanwhile, back at the Sofitel Krabi Phokeetra hotel, Gabi is freaking out a little bit. "It is so hard to sit here for hours and hours, just waiting and waiting and waiting," she says. "It literally sucks. I know he's with someone else… Right now, I'm feeling a lot of insecurity and doubt." Of course, you are, Gabi! If it's any consolation, your mental breakdown is arriving right on schedule.
Even though they chowed down on a bunch of Thai food at the night market, Ariel and Zach still must go through the motions of a "dinner portion" of the date. But we all know that on The Bachelor, dinner has nothing to do with food; it's all about Opening Up™. "I definitely am falling for you," she tells Zach. "I definitely am falling in love with you." Naturally, he LOVES it. "I can absolutely see a future with you," he gushes.
With that, Zach whips out the Fantasy Suite card — and before she can accept or reject the invitation, he tentatively lays down some ground rules. "I guess what I envision [for] what would be a happy engagement and a happy marriage, that this week in particular, sex being off the table," he says, mangling the English language spectacularly. "Like, sharing that intimate moment should be saved for that moment of engagement."
Ariel is clearly surprised by this news, but she takes it in stride — perhaps because she doesn't think Zach is going to keep his word. "I feel like if you set a standard before, 'I'm definitely not going to sleep with you,' like, you probably will by saying no," she says with a chuckle. "So I understand where you're coming from… But I want to use this time to spend time with you."
That's a yes, I guess. Ariel does admit in her confessional that she is "a little disappointed" by Zach's announcement, but "I always want him to feel supported." That said, she's heading into the Fantasy Suite with the goal of keeping the romance alive. "Who knows what's going to happen?"
Well, the first thing that's going to happen is you and Zach are going to make out, a lot — in the hall, in the pool, in the bed, etc. After that, the screen fades to black, and in the morning, we see them cuddling in bed.
ABC Ariel and Zach
Shall we listen in on their pillow talk? "You do, like, three different positions," says Ariel. "It was, like, the side…" Zach interjects: "Sleeping positions! To clarify." Sounds like our Bachelor kept his chastity belt on all night. Good for him, I guess?
After a quick breakfast, Zach heads off for his next date with… Gabi!
ABC Gabi hits the beach
"Last night, I mean, like, I was, like, freaking out," she admits. "Honestly, I need to just get out of my own head." She's sweaty, her self-tanner is melting, and she might even stink a little, but Gabi is going into this date with a mission: "I want to tell Zach how much my feelings have grown for him."
Today's date involves a sailboat ride to a private beach. Weirdly, production didn't set up any towels or anything so when Zach and Gabi get to the beach, they have to plop their wet butts down in the sand. (I'm getting itchy just thinking about it.) The Bachelor asks Gabi how she's been doing since hometowns, and she confesses that the week has been hard, in part because of how the Fantasy Suite dates have been scheduled.
"In previous relationships I was kind of like chosen second, and so, like, not seeing you for so long and then being the second Fantasy Suite, I was like, 'Oh, I feel very second again,'" says Gabi, who acknowledges that she's probably just getting herself worked up over nothing. After all, it's not like Zach has any control over what order the dates are filmed — or any other aspect of his "journey," if we're being honest. The Bachelor assures her that he's not playing mind games and is just trying to figure out this finding-a-wife-on-TV thing as he goes. Still, Gabi needs a minute to compose herself behind the safety of some palm fronds.
ABC Give her a minute, folks!
"I feel very stupid and foolish, and I hate this," she sobs. "I feel disgusting. I feel ugly. I feel all sorts of things. Why can't I be happy?"
Awww, this makes me sad — in part because it's so relatable. Women of the world, why are we so hard on ourselves? Gabi is a gorgeous, smart, funny woman with an actual job, and yet she berates herself like a mediocre man never would. Eventually Zach comes to check on her, and Gabi just lays it all out there. "I'm just so overtired and so emotional," she says. "I'm just a human… It's hard!"
The Bachelor agrees. He wants Gabi to know that their relationship is "special," and that the order of the dates is not about "priority." He comforts her for a while longer, and then they head into the ocean to make out. By the time dinner rolls around, Gabi is feeling a lot better. "I feel safe to tell him that I am falling in love with him," she says. "And I know he'll want the Fantasy Suite." Well… yes and no. But more on that in a minute.
Gabi gives a little preamble, talking about how she's done a lot of work since her last crappy relationship to figure out what "worthwhile love" means to her, and then she delivers the "I'm falling in love with you" news. Zach breaks out in a big, goofy grin and then leans in for a kiss. You know what comes next, rose lovers:
Nice handwriting
Okay, Zach. Take it away: "To a lot of people, this week is viewed as… sex week," he begins. "I think what feels right to me is approaching this entire week not having sex with Fantasy Suites… To me, it's probably the healthiest way to go about it."
Is it, though? Gabi isn't sure. "Sex is important in a relationship," she says. "Did I think I was going to get engaged to somebody that I've never had sex with? Probably not," she continues, laughing. "But we're gonna work on it later. I won't try to seduce you."
You probably won't have to, honey. As they make their way to the Fantasy Suite, Gabi tries to talk herself into why the no sex rule might be a good thing. "He's saving it for the right person, which means he's not test-driving anything. He knows he wants a Porche." That's right, girl — you're a luxury vehicle. Don't ever forget it.
Once inside the room, Gabi notes how large the bed is. "Lots of room for activities!" Within minutes they're lying down on it and making out. Like Ariel, Gabi is holding out hope that the Bachelor might make a game time decision when it comes to sexytime. "Zach says he's not having sex, but I don't know," she muses. "Maybe he will."
Cut to:
ABC Gabi and Zach
Looks like they had a good night. But… how good? All Gabi will admit to is "a great cuddle sesh," so I guess we'll have to wait for Palmer to get the full story out of Zach. Get in here, man! We have questions!
ABC Zach and Jesse
"It went really great with Gabi," Zach begins. "But remember our conversation this week, taking sex off the table? It changed with Gabi and our overnight. We both agreed and wanted to have sex together, and it was very special… I feel terrible because I've essentially, like, gone against my word." Yes, yes you have. Now the Bachelor is worried about how Kaity and Ariel will feel about this development, which he does not want to keep secret from them — and he's just hounded by guilt over the whole thing.
"But it came from a good place," says Palmer. (Not an ideal choice of words, sir!) "To some of these women, intimacy might be a really important thing before knowing if they can say yes" to a proposal.
Either way, Zach certainly cannot unring this bell, and now he's determined to be fully transparent with all of them about what went down. (Sorry, another not-great choice of words.) "I think everyone needs to be at least aware of what actually happened this week," he says. Palmer can't keep the hint of skepticism out of his voice: "So you feel like you want to tell the other women about what happened?" (He leaves the "dude, that is a really terrible idea" part unspoken.)
Yes, Zach wants to confess it all. Before he can head off for his date with Kaity, though, the Bachelor must fill Gabi in on what he's planning to do.
Gabi and Zach
The guy is so nervous he can barely string together a coherent sentence. He stammers about how "special" and "magical" their night together was but says he can't move forward "having secrets" from the other women. "I just want to be fully transparent with everyone involved about the whole, like, you know."
Gabi must speak jackass, because she understands what Zach is trying to tell her — and she does NOT love it. "I didn't realize you were so bothered," she says. "I just took it as it was between us." In her confessional, she elaborates about feeling "blindsided" and upset that everything that was supposed to be "private" will now be public. Girl, you know this is airing on television, right? It was ALWAYS going to be public!
Realizing how bummed Gabi is about this development, Zach announces that he's "falling in love" with her. "I can see a future with you," he adds. "You're someone that would be awesome to go through life with, too." Somebody get a pen — this is wedding-vow gold!
Unrelated: Someone needs to ask housekeeping to dust the hanging light in Gabi's room.
Blech
Yuck.
Oh boy, I already feel really bad for Kaity, and she hasn't even heard the very uncomfortable news yet. She and Zach meet in a Thai mangrove forest, which they'll be exploring via canoe.
ABC Kaity and Zach
As the rain begins to fall, Zach and Kaity climb out of their canoe and sit under a canopy of mangrove leaves. They smooch for a while and then Zach reluctantly launches into his speech. "To be fully transparent, I went into this week kind of setting a parameter where I wanted to… not have, like, sex and physical intimacy be involved. And I shared that with the other women going into the week," he says. "And, um, like, a lot has changed and evolved… I have been intimate this week."
The camera zooms in on Kaity's face as Zach talks. Her expression doesn't give much away at first, but slowly her eyes begin to fill with tears. "Like, I knew…" Her voice breaks. "It sucks obviously to, like, think about it. Um…" She pauses again to gather herself. "I just figured that was the case, but, like, you just telling me and confirming… Honestly, I could've went without hearing that."
This is why we don't set unrealistic goals for ourselves in the Fantasy Suites, Zach! Now you've put yourself in a lose-lose situation: Either keep it secret from the other women and have them find out when the episode airs, or tell them while the cameras roll and make them feel s----y in the moment! Had you just kept your little "no-sex" goal to yourself this whole time, your three potential wives would have been spared this misery when you inevitably fell short. Like I said, lose-lose.
"I'm not happy, obviously," Kaity continues. "It's weird… It's gonna take me a minute." Yeah, give her some space, bro!
Kaity is sad
"He says sorry, but why are you sorry? You're not sorry you did it," Kaity continues. "What are you sorry for? You're sorry for the way I'm feeling? You know I'd feel this way. You know I wouldn't be like, 'Hey, give me a high-five, pal!'" Kaity's understandably pissed, but it's hard to focus on anything other than her very Canadian pronunciation of "sorry": Sore-ee.
Kaity isn't hiding her feelings with Zach, either. "I was so excited to have this day together," she laments. "I know the gist of this week… It just kind of was like rubbing salt in the wound a little bit." The Bachelor clearly feels awful for making her feel bad, and he starts scrambling. "Seriously, I can really see it being us at the end of this…" Save it, pal. That's not what Kaity needs to hear right now. She's mad, let her be mad.
Kaity and a producer
"How am I supposed to spend the rest of the night with him?" Kaity moans. "All I'm gonna think about is that!"
Alas, Kaity does not skip dinner and leave Zach to ignore the food all by himself. (Weirdly, the dinner takes place in what looks like the Fantasy Suite itself. Maybe it's because of the impending rain, or maybe it's because producers figured that if they gave Kaity a chance to escape, she'd end up fleeing for the airport.)
Zach and Kaity
Now that she's had time to process everything that's happened, Kaity is feeling less horrified by what Zach told her. She says that it was hard for her to drop the "I'm falling in love with you" bomb at hometowns, and she went into today's date just hoping to strengthen their relationship. Instead, "The opposite happened."
The Bachelor apologizes again, reiterating that he never meant to hurt her, he literally could not keep a secret from her or the other women. "I used to rat on myself on myself as a kid," he says. "My parents were like, 'You were the easiest kid to raise, because if you did anything wrong in school or anything, you told us by the night.' Catholic guilt had me!" In other words, Zach told Kaity the truth to make himself feel better — at least he admits it.
As for Kaity, she's decided to place this unfortunate incident in the Obstacles We've Overcome™ box, and she's ready to move on. "It was a step back, but I feel so confident in you and I," she says. "It is all worth it." And yes, Kaity accepts Zach's Fantasy Suite invite.
Flash-forward to… the rose ceremony? No morning-after cuddles with Zach and Kaity? No side conversation between where Zach tells Ariel about his Fantasy Suite faux pas? Huh, that's odd. Welp, let's get to it, then.
Kaity, Ariel, and Gabi
Everyone looks lovely, and very bright. Gabi, though, is still upset about Zach's decision to be "transparent" with the other women. "In a way it feels like he's cleared his conscience at the expense of my heart," she says. "I don't know if I want this rose right now."
Ariel may feel the same way once she hears Zach's opening speech about how he tried to set "parameters" for himself this week. "That was the biggest mistake I could have done," he says. "I've caused pain. I've made mistakes, and I'm so sorry for that." It's not quite an admission, but it's probably the closest Ariel's going to get — at least until After the Final Rose.
Rose ceremony roll call! The final two are: Kaity and Gabi. So sorry, Ariel. (If it's any consolation, you look incredible.) Zach walks her out to the Bye-Bye Bench, where they share a heartfelt and melancholy farewell. "Thank you for making it easy for me to open up," she whispers. "Thank you for being you," he replies. "Thank you for everything."
Back at the rose podium, Kaity commiserates with Gabi — though it almost sounds like a threat.
Is that a threat?
"I'm feel like I'm wearing, like, an 'A' on my chest," Gabi whispers back. "F---ing Scarlet Letter over here." Yes, rose lovers, a contestant on The Bachelor just made a reference to classic 19th century literature.
When Zach gets back from saying goodbye to Ariel, he hugs the two remaining women. Gabi, however, isn't feeling the love. "He's, like, only making eye contact with Kaity, when I feel like I've just been kind of put through the wringer here," she says with a sigh.
One! More! Week! Rose lovers, can you feel the excitement? (Or maybe that's just relief.) Before you go, a few questions for you to ponder: Do you think Zach should have confessed to Kaity? Would you like to see Ariel in Paradise or is she too good for that wretched beach? And why do you think those monkeys were trying to mug Kaity? Post your thoughts below!
The Bachelor airs Mondays at 8 p.m. on ABC.
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