Advertisement

'Bachelor' Matt James admits conversation with estranged father 'was hard to experience'

The Bachelor” star Matt James had an emotional conversation with his father Manny, when he confronted him on Monday's episode about being absent throughout much of his childhood. James was primarily raised by his mother Patty, and was very candid about the struggles of not having a father figure.

“I remember, growing up, he'd come around every now and then, drop off some shoes, buy us pizza.” said James, fighting back tears. “I didn't need any shoes. I didn't need any pizza. I needed a dad.”

The intense conversation made many viewers uncomfortable, like this fan who tweeted, “The show exploiting Matt’s strained relationship with his dad feels very inappropriate and I feel like I’m watching a conversation I shouldn’t be involved in.”

While the conversation was uncomfortable, James took to Twitter to reiterate how important it is to show conversations like this. He was also hoping to change the way Black fathers are stereotyped and depicted.

“Tonight’s convo with my dad was hard to experience, and it’s just as hard to watch all this time later, especially knowing the world is watching with me...I just wanted to say that too often, we see dangerous stereotypes and negative depictions of Black fathers in media. And they have consequences when presented without context...All I hope is that people watch that conversation with nuance, care, and also an understanding that there are real systemic issues at play. I’m so proud of myself for being vulnerable, and I’m so proud of my mother. I wouldn’t be who I am without my dad. That’s a fact.”

Video Transcript

MATT JAMES: I remember, growing up, he'd come around every now and then, drop off some shoes, buy us pizza. I didn't need any shoes. I didn't need any pizza. I needed a dad.

- Bachelor star Matt James had an emotional conversation with his father Manny, when he confronted him on Monday's episode about being absent through much of his childhood.

MATT JAMES: We've all been through a lot, and I get that I don't know what it was like to grow up in Africa without a dad like you did. But I know what it's like to grow up here without a dad. And a bunch of other stuff that hardens my heart and closes me off.

- The intense conversation made many viewers uncomfortable, like this fan who tweeted, "the show exploiting Matt's strained relationship with his dad feels very inappropriate, and I feel like I'm watching a conversation I shouldn't be involved in."

MANNY JAMES: You want me to take the reality, bro? I came home one day and your mom was gone, bro.

MATT JAMES: For good reason. Who wants to be with someone who's not going to be faithful to them?

MANNY JAMES: No one is perfect, son. Look around you in this world. Who is perfect? I'm not perfect. You're not perfect yourself.

- There were some fans who were happy the candid conversation was aired on network TV. Matt himself took to Twitter to discuss the importance of such conversations, writing, "tonight's convo with my dad was hard to experience and is just as hard to watch all this time later, especially knowing the world is watching with me.

I just wanted to say that, too often, we see dangerous stereotypes and negative depictions of Black fathers in media. And they have consequences when presented without context. All I hope is that people watch that conversation with nuance, care, and also an understanding that there are real systemic issues at play. I'm so proud of myself for being vulnerable. And I'm so proud of my mother. I wouldn't be who I am without my dad. That's a fact."

And while the conversation was uncomfortable at times, it was an important step in their relationship going forward.

MANNY JAMES: I'm sorry I hurt you, son.

MATT JAMES: I forgive you. I'm not holding grudges against those things. I just want us to move forward, and--

MANNY JAMES: Love you, bro.

MATT JAMES: Love you, too.