Yahoo Movies This Author Makes A Strong Case For Buying Your Partner Flowers Every Week
(Photo: LumiNola via Getty Images)
Do you buy your partner flowers? How often? On special occasions? Maybe once a month? Or even weekly?
Author and artist Reyna Noriega recently recalled hearing this question asked by a psychology teacher – and the lesson delivered has struck a chord with people on Twitter.
In a thread that’s now been liked more than 32,000 times, Noriega asked why some people voluntarily get into relationships, but then “choose not to give their partners the things that make them feel loved and safe.”
She then recalled the time her teacher asked students about their flower-buying habits.
I had a psych teacher use our life experiences as an example for Pavlov’s theory so he asked “how many of you give your partners flowers”
Lots of hands raised.
“How many of you give them a few times a year”
Less hands.
“Monthly?”
Barely any
“Weekly?”
1 hand— Reyna Noriega (@reynasnoriega) October 3, 2022
Some of the students raised their hands at the start, but quickly lowered them when the frequency ramped up – and the teacher noticed some scoffs.
The teacher apparently asked one student why he didn’t like the idea of buying flowers more regularly. The student replied: “I don’t want her to get used to it. Then she’ll expect it and when I don’t do it, it’ll be a problem.”
Noriega then recalled her teacher’s response...
Professor “so flowers makes your girlfriend feel loved. *head nod* But you have a problem with her expecting to feel loved”
*confused face*— Reyna Noriega (@reynasnoriega) October 3, 2022
He then asks the 1 kid who does it weekly
“Well typically i get her flowers on my way home and when i notice they’ve started to go bad I’ll get more”
Prof: Why?
Kid: It makes her happy
Prof: is it hard to remember?
Kid: it’s pretty much a routine at this point.— Reyna Noriega (@reynasnoriega) October 3, 2022
Of course, it’s not really about the flowers. As some on Twitter have pointed out, not everyone has the funds to pay for a weekly bouquet. Nor should it be an expectation placed solely on men in heterosexual relationships – maybe your boyfriend would like a rose or two, you know?
Instead, Noriega uses flowers as an example of meeting your partner’s needs and questions why you’d enter into a relationship if you were not prepared to intentionally love them how they want to be loved.
In theory, their needs could be receiving love through flowers. But it could be a well-brewed cup of tea in the morning. Or better yet, how about consistently and consciously meeting their expectations for loyalty?
If you don’t care to meet someone’s expectations for loyalty, if you don’t care to learn your partners love language, what logical reason is there?
— Reyna Noriega (@reynasnoriega) October 3, 2022
A love where your main focus is receiving and not giving is not love at all. Sometimes it’s based on our own trauma and disappointments that don’t allow us to love in a way that is truly transformative and that is unfortunate. But that is the “work”
— Reyna Noriega (@reynasnoriega) October 3, 2022
The work is getting to a place in love where your presence is an offering. A gift. You bring joy, not pain.
Many of us did not have positive examples of love growing up and in the world so i know at times the action of love seems undefinable but it is not JUST a feeling.— Reyna Noriega (@reynasnoriega) October 3, 2022
It comes down to love languages – and it seems this lesson has certainly resonated with people on Twitter.
This thread was amazing! I think our concepts of a relationship are slightly distorted given whatever relationships we have seen growing up. Its so impor to meet your partners love language and them yours and that shouldn’t be negotiable
— Zhongli’s wife (@skyy_bunny) October 4, 2022
this thread got me feeling soooooo good! 🥹 absolutely validating! thank you for sharing! i needed this 😭
— bronzed bailarina (@allcocoanat) October 4, 2022
Powerful truths in here.
And it's not as simple as giving flowers. It takes a great deal of intentionality to love your partner the way they want to be loved. When you truly love, your heart and mind is committed to seeing that their happiness becomes your happiness. https://t.co/6tU6rMHQQt— Avid Writer #Esq #Mama❤️ (@JohnOlonade1) October 4, 2022
So, maybe think about buying those flowers?
This article originally appeared on HuffPost UK and has been updated.
