AnnaLynne McCord is opening up about her dissociative identity disorder diagnosis (DID), which was previously known as multiple personality disorder.
The Nip/Tuck actress discussed having DID during a recent conversation with Dr. Daniel Amen. "I am absolutely uninterested in shame," she said of the stigma surrounding the disorder.
"There is nothing about my journey that I invite shame into anymore," McCord, 33, continued. "And that's how we get to the point where we can articulate the nature of these pervasive traumas and stuff, as horrible as they are."
McCord, who confirmed in her interview that she had been previously diagnosed with DID, has spoken in the past about being raped as a teenager and the trauma it caused. "A year ago, I was in treatment for PTSD and memories of child sexual abuse came back for years all the way until I was 11 years," she told PEOPLE in September 2019.
If you or someone you know has been a victim of sexual abuse, text "STRENGTH" to the Crisis Text Line at 741-741 to be connected to a certified crisis counselor.
She discussed her memory loss regarding such traumatic events in the recent interview, explaining, "I don't have anything until around 5. Then from 5 to 11, I recount incidents throughout. Then when I was 13, I have a singled-out memory that was one thing, but I don't have the sense of anything else at that time."
The anti-trafficking activist revealed that her work as an actress helped bring her DID to light. "All of my roles were splits, but I didn't even realize I was doing it at all until I did a project 90210," she said of the Beverly Hills, 90210 spinoff, which ran on the CW for five seasons from 2008 to 2013.
It wasn't until she filmed her 2012 horror movie Excision during a hiatus from the show that something was triggered. "I played a very cerebral, disturbed, strange little girl that was very close to who I feel I am on the inside. It was very exposing, very confronting, probably a bit re-traumatizing without realizing it," she said of the role.
"The crazy thing about it was that I wrapped that film at 2 a.m. on a Tuesday and had to be happy, crazy Beverly Hills blonde bombshell on Wednesday at noon," she recounted. "I couldn't find her, she was not accessible. I was dark, I was very deep into this character Pauline, and I couldn't get [out]."
McCord also recalled being "co-conscious" of her true identity and a split personality she called "little Anna" at 13.
"She was a balls to the wall, middle fingers to the sky, anarchist from hell who will stab you with the spike ring that she wears, and you'll like it. Then she'll make you lick the blood from it," she said. "She was a nasty little creature, but I have so much gratitude to her because she got me out of the hell that I was in."
If you or someone you know need mental health help, text "STRENGTH" to the Crisis Text Line at 741-741 to be connected to a certified crisis counselor.