Adam Rickitt opens up on depression battle: 'I was essentially praying to die'

Adam Rickett attends the British Soap Awards 2018 at Hackney Empire on June 2, 2018 in London, England. (Photo by Tristan Fewings/Getty Images)

Soap star Adam Rickitt has candidly opened up on the mental health troubles that left him wanting to end his life.

It comes as his character in Channel 4 soap Hollyoaks, Kyle Kelly, is set to take his own life as part of an ongoing mental health storyline.

Speaking on Loose Women on Tuesday afternoon, the 42-year-old disclosed the extent of his own mental health battle as he suffered from anxiety and depression between the ages of 13 to 30.

Read more: Most common mental health conditions and where to seek help

He told the panellists: “I’d reached a point where I was essentially praying to die. I would quite happily have killed myself. The only thing that stopped me from killing myself is that I knew my parents would blame themselves. And I didn’t mind ending my life, but I didn’t want to ruin their life.

“And I kind of reached a crunch point when I was 28-years-old and I got an opportunity to go to New Zealand. And it was meant to be for three-months and it ended up turning into five-years. And it just gave me that space and that time and that breath, to actually just go, ‘There is something out there for me.’... And that was the first time in 15 years at that point where for one moment I thought there was a chance of me being happy and “normal”. “

"It was a defining moment where I decided I was either going to do something about it or I was going to fade away into nothingness. There was no miracle cure, that was the worst thing… it’s not how it works, it’s a gradual process,” he shared.

Rickitt went on to encourage men to speak out about their mental health as part of Loose Women's Stand By Your Men campaign.

Actor Adam Rickitt, from TV soap, Coronation Street, arriving at London's Royal Lancaster Hotel for the 95.8 Capital FM 1999 London Awards lunch. (Photo by Fiona Hanson - PA Images/PA Images via Getty Images)

"Men don’t tend to talk about these things so what tends to happen is that they’re inevitably going to explode,” he said.

The star has previously opened up about other mental health problems he's experienced including the eating disorder he had as a teenager, suffering from bulimia.

Rickitt was the second actor to take on the role of Nick Tilsley in Coronation Street between 1997 to 1999 and from 2002 to 2004, embarking on a music career in between his stints on the soap. He's appeared on Hollyoaks since 2017.

For confidential emotional support at times of distress, contact The Samaritans at any time by calling 116 123 or emailing