"Florida Man Is A Lie" And 12 More Surprising Truths About The Chaotic Yet Fascinating State Of Florida (From A Local)
·8 min read
Florida is unquestionably fascinating. Whenever I tell someone that it's where I'm from, they always ask if it's as unhinged as it seems. Sure, when it's cold outside, iguanas fall out of the trees. When it's hot, you have to tactically fasten your seatbelt to avoid severe buckle burns. I know that this place sure seems off the rails, but is it truly as wild as people assume?
I've heard just about every Florida stereotype — from the ones that call us out accurately to the rumors that feel more like a caricature rather than an actual state people choose to live. Since I have the behind-the-scenes scoop as a lifelong local, I'm gonna give you the honest truth about which clichés are true and which ones are false.
TOTALLY TRUE: Alligators are all over.
If I venture off on a nature walk near water, I'm 100% guaranteed to see this exact sign:
TOTALLY FALSE: Florida deserves to be called "the sunshine state."
TOTALLY TRUE: Floridians don't take hurricanes seriously.
The only time a Floridian does take a hurricane seriously is when the local Waffle House closes, or if this guy shows up:
Everyone is either going 20 over the speed limit or 10 under. Simply going the speed limit?? In Florida? Sounds fake to me. I don't even wanna talk about Florida drivers in the rain. Everyone turns on their hazards and loses their minds.
TOTALLY FALSE: Everyone has a gun.
TOTALLY FALSE: Floridians are ALWAYS at the beach.
TOTALLY TRUE: We passionately believe that Publix outshines any other grocery store.
TOTALLY TRUE: All of us (or at least an embarrassingly high number of us) are Disney adults.
TOTALLY FALSE: We're all tan.
TOTALLY TRUE: There are bugs everywhere.
TOTALLY TRUE: Anything under 70 degrees is considered freezing.
TOTALLY FALSE: Everyone is obsessed with Tr*mp.
What do you think? Are there rumors about Florida that I missed? Are there Floridians who passionately disagree with any of my takes? Let me know in the comments!
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