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5 ways to be more playful, care less and let go as an adult

playfulness in adults and its wellbeing benefits
5 ways to be more playful as an adultHolly Wilmeth - Getty Images

Often, as we grow up and leave our childhood behind us, we think we have to become more serious and leave playfulness behind. But experts say being playful should not be forgotten as an adult, and instead enhanced.

"Playfulness is not just behaving like a child," says Consultant Clinical Psychologist, Dr Ellie Atkins. "It's about thinking critically, and having the ability to open up, which is actually a very mature quality," she adds.

Playfulness also positively affects the wellbeing of adults, and increases life satisfaction, according to René Proyer, Professor of psychology at Martin Luther University Halle-Wittenberg, Germany.

He goes on to say that playfulness should actually be viewed as a skill, and people should take part in it in the same way they might approach with other wellbeing activities. It's a great mindfulness tool.

What are the areas of playfulness?

René's work identifies four facets of playfulness:

  • Other-directed – Cheering people up and easing tension in social situations

  • Lighthearted – Being carefree and improvising

  • Intellectual-creative – Enjoy playing with ideas, words and creative problem-solving

  • Whimsical – Having a preference for odd or unusual objects, situations and people

According to the study, there's seven factors to playfulness – cheerful-engaged, imaginative, impulsive, intellectual-charming, whimsical, lighthearted and kind-loving.

The benefits of being playful

Dr Ellie explains that being more playful "is stimulating and increases creativity by developing curiosity and pleasure in what you're doing".

"The act of pleasure is stress-reducing, and by thinking more creatively you're using the front of your brain, which allows you to look at a position from more than one point of view," she adds. This means you have more options and don't feel stuck in a situation, and thus stressed.

Being playful can:

Reduce stress

Lighthearted humour, playing games and telling jokes are all ways to reduce stress. As well playing actual games, whether that's a board game or an online game, they can be forms of escapism and help remove yourself from the stress you're feeling in your day to day life.

Dr Ellie also says that playfulness means you're doing something, and when you're doing something our cortisol levels, which are our stress levels, are reduced.

Increase creativity

A 2019 study 'Playfulness and Creativity: A selective review' by Proyer et al published in the journal Creativity and Humor found that playfulness facilitates creativity in instances such as sports, education and work.

Improve relationships

Being able to share a joke or a joyful experience can bring people closer together. Dr Ellie also says the ability to be able to step back from an immediate situation and think about it more creatively can also improve relationships too.

How to be more playful

Don't worry if you're introverted, or don't consider yourself funny. Playfulness comes in many forms.

Being playful doesn't necessarily come from playing games. Many board games adults will play have strict rules everyone has to follow and encourage competition, which is different to playfulness and not as lighthearted nor particularly creative. It also doesn't have to be a physical thing, and can start by just being aware and training yourself to think differently.

If you're struggling to be more playful, try these tips:

Don't worry what you look like

Allow yourself not to mind so much what other people may think of you. This may be easier said than done, but when you hear your critical voice, notice it and remember that you don't need to listen to it, suggests Dr Ellie. If you're feeling self-conscious, try something like singing along with the radio.

Don't try and change your personality

Dr Ellie says studies show that you're much more likely to do something new if it's already linked to something you currently enjoy doing. If you like running, try doing a silly run or walk when you're out for your next jog.

Spend time with children and pets

Young children and animals are not going to judge you, so you don't need to worry about what they think. Spending time with them means you can practice playfulness in other ways that are different to how you might be playful with your peers.

Think more critically

Don't just think 'that person was grumpy with me today because they don't like me.' Instead, Dr Ellie says to allow your mind to think more creatively – whether it could be true or not doesn't matter. Come up with a more creative, positive reason.

Do things you did as a child

Whether that's sitting on a swing, or something crafty such as making bunting or colouring in with pencils, these things can help take your mind off everyday life and reconnect you to your inner child.

But, above all, have fun.

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