30 Random Thoughts We Had While Watching 'Batman v Superman'

Warning: Spoilers ahead!

Zack Snyder’s Batman v Superman: Dawn of Justice runs an endurance-testing 151 minutes, which gave us plenty of time to meditate on its nuances, overtones, and implications for the greater DC Comics/Justice League universe. We’ll answer a series of burning questions the film leaves viewers with here this weekend; but in the meantime, there are also those fleeting thoughts than ran through our head while soaking in Snyder’s brooding battle of superheroes. Like, for instance, was that actually Lex Luthor’s pee strategically placed in front of Holly Hunter’s congresswoman during the court hearing? Here are 30 random thoughts we had watching BvS. Add your own in the comments.

1. Do people still name their kids Bruce? It feels like forever since we’ve met a little boy named Bruce.

2. They finally killed off Maggie.

3. Why don’t men ever take their clothes off before jumping into baths with their ladies? Who wants soggy pants?

4. Does Lois Lane begin all of her interviews with “Are you a terrorist?”

5. That Daily Planet photographer is the worst CIA plant ever — who’d believe that a newspaper photographer would still be shooting on film?

6. Jesse Eisenberg just ruined Jolly Ranchers forever.

7. This Batman uses waaaay too many guns. He’s the first Dark Knight who is also an NRA member.

8. Holly Hunter is crushing this. Why doesn’t she get more big roles?

9. Lex Luthor is a terrible public speaker.

10. Did Bruce Wayne really just call Clark Kent “son”?

Related: How ‘Batman v Superman’ Sets Up the Rest of the DC Movie Universe

11. Perry White is terrible at writing headlines.

12. Would a crack reporter at the Daily Planet really not know who Bruce Wayne was?

13. When did Clark Kent start covering sports?

14. Think Clark Kent and Bruce Wayne go to the same gym?

15. Ben Affleck must have had it written it into his contract that he’d have more shirtless scenes than Henry Cavill.

16. Is that Lex Luthor’s actual urine?

17. Is Alfred actually Bruce’s butler this time around? He doesn’t seem to ever clean his house — just tinkers with his Bat-toys.

18. Bruce Wayne better just settle down with a nice gal one of these days or Alfred is going to lose it.

19. Lex Luthor is the best alien hacker this side of Jeff Goldblum.

20. Did Lex Luthor design those Justice League logos himself?

Related: ‘Batman v Superman’ Director Zack Snyder Talks R-Rated Extended Footage

21. How many times did Kevin Costner watch Jodie Foster’s “screaming lambs” monologue from Silence of the Lambs and think, “I can top that”?

22. Interesting. Lex doesn’t strike me as a Brady Bunch fan.

23. Can someone please turn this down?

24. Zack Snyder sure does like his Christ imagery.

25. But how did DC’s two biggest heroes wind up with same-named moms?

26. Wonder Woman was flying commercial at the end. Was the invisible jet in the shop?

27. Was the port of Metropolis really empty of all civilians during the final battle? The movie only mentioned it 36 times, so I wasn’t sure.

28. CNN might spend more time covering superhero battles than Donald Trump. Doomsday, indeed!

29. Copy editor! The headline of the Daily Planet at the end reads “Night of Terror Morning of Loss” and is clearly missing a comma.

30. Mmm. We’re suddenly craving Granny’s sweet tea.

By Ethan Alter, Marcus Errico, Kerrie Mitchell, and Kevin Polowy